26 replies to this topic

[Blade 619]

So I'm very freshly single again (by choice). How long do people tend to leave it between relationships?

[Samus]

me and you both bro. (well kinda lol)

 

What happened?

[Dandy]

Lave it? Also, if it is time you are looking for. Takes as much or as little time as you need. We all handle heart break and break ups differently. Just never lash out at others during that time, and do not jump on the first things that crosses your view. Just play some games, blow up some pixels, and you'll know. Or you wont, in that case just get a hooker...I mean...escort. You'll be ok.

 

Maybe, I am sure Sister Midnight can cheer you up. They seem to have a...perky? Attitude? Ba-dum-tsh.

[Blade 619]

me and you both bro. (well kinda lol)
 
What happened?

 
She went away for 3 weeks and by the time she got back I no longer felt that she was where my long term future lay. (I don't have a second lined up or anything). So I felt it was better for both of us to end it now rather than have it die a slow and painful death during our exams and dissertations with all the knock on impacts that has.
 

Lave it? Also, if it is time you are looking for. Takes as much or as little time as you need. We all handle heart break and break ups differently. Just never lash out at others during that time, and do not jump on the first things that crosses your view. Just play some games, blow up some pixels, and you'll know. Or you wont, in that case just get a hooker...I mean...escort. You'll be ok.
 
Maybe, I am sure Sister Midnight can cheer you up. They seem to have a...perky? Attitude? Ba-dum-tsh.

Typo corrected...

Sister Midnight is no IRON Escort... she is the IRON Maiden.

But all joking aside, I'm not sure what I want. There's always the old "ones that got away" which I'd jump at or kick myself later... but for now I think I just want time without having to feel that I am in any way bound to another's happiness.

[Dandy]

Sister Midnight is no IRON Escort... she is the IRON Maiden.

 

 

Le gasp! The implications sir! I would never insinuate that our beloved Sister Midnight would be a lady of the evening! Merely that she has the can-do spirit that you need right now!

 

The Scandal! The implications!

[Lysistrata]

From experience, it takes about the same time to get over someone as you were with them. If you don't like that, then the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. One thing is for sure... don't believe you can change for someone, or believe someone is gonna change for you. You would be wasting your time, and time is too precious to waste. So either it's right, or it's not... and I'm a true believer in "the one that got away" thing... so go for it, chances are she feels the same about that. Good luck my brother.

[DarkFox]

Do you first, don't be in a relationship because you believe that you want one or need one. Do it because you are set up and ready for it. I rushed in a couple times and realized that it wasn't meant to be and ended up causing pain. 

[Robert2424]

I am not one to offer advice of such subjects as I've been single for awhile. But her staying loyal after being gone for 3 weeks is impressive. Considering I've been cheated on many times. Its all effort. How is she taking this right now? 

[W1Ck3d]

To quote the Wu Tang Clan, 

 

"Bring da mothafuckin' ruckus!"

[Samus]

From experience, it takes about the same time to get over someone as you were with them. If you don't like that, then the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. One thing is for sure... don't believe you can change for someone, or believe someone is gonna change for you. You would be wasting your time, and time is too precious to waste. So either it's right, or it's not... and I'm a true believer in "the one that got away" thing... so go for it, chances are she feels the same about that. Good luck my brother.

So much truth, with so little words. How do you do that sir?

[MsShawdi]

My personal experience on this matter, started in April 2008. I got into an abusive relationship, for 2 years and nearly 2 months. Things weren't so bad in the beginning, then I got pregnant, and moved to another state. My dad came and got me and moved me in with him, I was 19. When I moved, the guy didn't come with me, and then called me about a week or two later. He decided he wanted to move too, so arrangements were made and he was moved into my dad's home. Things were still going pretty well, until we moved into our own place. I was about 6 or so months pregnant by then, and that is when the abuse started. At first, it was only name calling. It then got worse, to the point where bruises were having to be hidden. After enduring so much of the abuse, I just couldn't take anymore of it, and I was starting to really hate him. I finally left him at the end of May 2010 (he had stated he had a DATE in April, and it wasn't with me).

Leaving proved to be difficult, he decided he didn't want me to go, and took to trying to destroy the laptop I had at the time (we had MagicJack phone service). I was trying to call family to come get me, when he decided to jerk theUSB out of my laptop, causing the phone to not work, and actually breaking the USB port. He then tried to jerk my laptop away, so I hit him, I knew what would have likely happened had he gotten my laptop, since I wouldn't have had a "shield". After I hit him, he went to show the neighbors how terrible I was to him. I took that opportunity and grabbed what would fit in the diaper bag, strapped my daughter in the stroller, and walked to a family members house. He was screaming, and threatening to call the police and make them lock me up. But I kept going, and finally made it to my family member's house, she took me to my sister's home. About 5 hours after I had left, my family member called telling me that he had finally made a report and the police needed to speak with me. The police showed up, and questioned me, asking if I had hit him, my response was "yes sir, and I'd do it again if I had to". The police informed me that technically I was supposed to be taken to jail, but they let me off with a warning, and told me to stay away from him for the next 3 days at least.

After all that, I felt very relieved, and I wound up back at my dad's house (me & my sister can't get along to save our lives!). I felt so free, and alive. And, unexpectedly, I met the guy I'm with now at the end of June 2010, and we started dating mid-July 2010. Nearly SIX years have gone by, and I still can't stand my ex, my oldest daughter is 7, and since I still have the court records, she's able to now read the records by herself. She hates her "real dad", and she wants to "kill" him. Even though it seriously doesn't sound like a terrible idea, as a mother I have to explain why she can't just kill people, and the aspect of going to jail for it. He was ordered to pay child support and has paid $300 since August 2010.

All in all, it depends on how YOU feel, when you're ready, you will know. I was taught growing up that I don't have to have a partner to be happy in life. (my mother raised FOUR children as a single mother) Much luck to you in whatever you choose though!

[Dandy]

Yes, that prison aspect is quite the kicker.

[Lysistrata]

 

From experience, it takes about the same time to get over someone as you were with them. If you don't like that, then the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. One thing is for sure... don't believe you can change for someone, or believe someone is gonna change for you. You would be wasting your time, and time is too precious to waste. So either it's right, or it's not... and I'm a true believer in "the one that got away" thing... so go for it, chances are she feels the same about that. Good luck my brother.

So much truth, with so little words. How do you do that sir?

 

I've just been through a lot of life, and my girls always come to me when some asshole broke their heart. Don't let anyone tell you a load of bullshit that a relationship is hard work, because it's not hard at all. It's the easiest thing in the world when it's right... and I've seen enough Japanese hentai to know where this is going.

[Dandy]

I've seen enough Japanese hentai to know where this is going.

 

 

This guy gets it. 

[Sister Midnight]

Lysistrata said it so eloquently. 

 

In my experience every breakup was painful, even if I'm the one who ended it.

 

 

You said something that struck me, you wondered how long are you supposed to wait before you have a new relationship, and I'm pretty sure you know there's no time table on these things. 

 

Some people get very anxious when they're suddenly single.  It is a big adjustment and  people start doubting whether they'll ever find "Prince or Princess Charming Enough," or how they are going to even think about searching for her/him.  Some people think they aren't really complete without a relationship, and now they're alone, so at the very least they have to redefine themselves; again anxiety provoking.  The thing is that no one needs someone else to complete them, even if they don't know it or feel it. I don't want to put words into your mouth, but if you're feeling any of this stuff, just know that you are okay and strong enough to walk away from a relationship that isn't working for you without having a backup girl.  That's a lot of strength. 

 

I don't know you very well, but what I've seen of you is a very intelligent, witty, likable guy with just the right amount of Trent Reznor in him.  You probably need to grieve the end of the relationship, and that sucks, but of course you'll get through it. 

 

Hugs.

[Robert2424]

most of my relationships ended with me being cheated on, so idk. 

[Sister Midnight]

Lave it? Also, if it is time you are looking for. Takes as much or as little time as you need. We all handle heart break and break ups differently. Just never lash out at others during that time, and do not jump on the first things that crosses your view. Just play some games, blow up some pixels, and you'll know. Or you wont, in that case just get a hooker...I mean...escort. You'll be ok.

 

Maybe, I am sure Sister Midnight can cheer you up. They seem to have a...perky? Attitude? Ba-dum-tsh.

 

[Dandy]

Sister Midnight is no IRON Escort... she is the IRON Maiden.

 
 
Le gasp! The implications sir! I would never insinuate that our beloved Sister Midnight would be a lady of the evening! Merely that she has the can-do spirit that you need right now!
 
The Scandal! The implications!

Look! I set the record straight! Please not the emojis! Not the ball gag, cake mix, and clown porn again! Anything but that!

[Sister Midnight]

But I like the ball gag.  The ball gag makes the entire outfit.

[Dandy]

Ohmeohmy, however this thread is about our dear Blade, surely he is much more needing of the ballgag than I! (Don't worry Blade buddy I have your back in this most trying of times) perhaps our dear Sister Midnight, he would appreciate the official salute of Secor!