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#1
Hung Wang

Hung Wang

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Thought this was cute.

 

 

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!


When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!


After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.


The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

 


"-17.60 - Your population absolutely hates you."

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Life is the difference between jumping out of a third story window and jumping off a penthouse suite.


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#2
Blade 619

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Lol... and he'll never have a good nights sleep again!

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* * * * *

Blade 619 you have been baptized in Fire and Blood and emerged as IRON!

 

 

  I will remember this, Blade, and I will be forever grateful... oh hell words fail me!  ( @ )( @ )

 

 

* * * * *

Revenge is best served cold, tasting of vanilla yoghurt with vanilla and chocolate balls.

 

 

 

Leave it to Blade to step in and say the most completely true post in this thread. You make my day Sir.  

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#3
Yehom

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You missed the most important thing of that story: the question who are the actual robbers

 

Liked this one as well 

 

 

A teacher explains Marketing to his students:

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!”
– That’s Direct Marketing.

 

You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. Marry him!”

– That’s Advertising.

 

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.”
– That’s Telemarketing

 

You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:”By the way, I’m rich. Will you marry me?”

– That’s Public Relations

 

You are at a party and see a Gorgeous Girl. She walks up to you and says: “You are very rich! Can I marry you?”
– That’s Brand Recognition.

You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
– That’s Customer Feedback.

 

You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband.
– That’s Demand and Supply Gap

 

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person comes and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him.
– That’s competition eating into your market share

 

You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go to her and before you say: “I am rich, Marry me!”, your wife arrives.
– That’s Restriction for Entering New Markets.


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For continued dedication and tenacity, both as warriors and as military officers. Yehom has been fighting with both his own nation and one he's been sitting and has been effective. He has also been pounding the pavement as Commanding Officer making sure every enemy has been covered.

Yehom has been Baptized in Fire and Blood and Emerged as IRON!


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#4
bridgie

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The Dong was here.


The Dong was here.


Dongu, Level 19 high priest, master of the Balls, Scrotums, Anal cavities and Rectums.
Member of the council of Ricks.
Avid supplier of shit on the floor.
Grand Maester to the High Sanctum of the inner Council of the Dong Erectus, First of his name and first seed, Master of Karate, Conqueror of the Contraceptives.


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Show a man a meme page and he will laugh for the rest of his life.

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#5
brewersalliance

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The Dong was here.


The Dong was here.



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Brewersalliance: Lover of the Pack and Beer. Hater of the Bears and Cheese.

Nukes Delivered for IRON-31

Nukes Taken for IRON-44

You are bresky, Brewsky, Brewers, stud-muffin, Mr. Sexypants, and that cute guy over in IA.

TO: Brewersalliance | FROM: SeaBeeGipson
TYPE: Nuclear Missile Strike | DATE: 8/18/2017 9:07:26 AM
Your nation has been attacked with nuclear weapons in a standard nuclear attack by SeaBeeGipson. You lost 488 soldiers, 0 defending tanks, 0 cruise missiles, 1.602 miles of land, 0.000 technology, 103.283 infrastructure, 75% of your aircraft, and 25% of your nuclear vulnerable navy force. In addition to these losses your nation will experience many days of economic devastation.Your clones are dead


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