lol.
Chuck Norris can clap one handed.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Tiwce.
Chuck Norris has another fist under his beard.
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a "Ctrl" button on his keyboard. Because Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can sharpen a pen.
Chuck Norris doesn't have nightmares. Nightmares have chuck norris... and then have to go pee.
Chuck Norris can download Apple apps to his Blackberry.
Chuck Norris farted once. It was called the Manhattan Project.
Chuck Norris can climb a ladder without his hands or feet.
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with steel wool.
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. To bad he's also the meaning of death.
Chuck Norris uses a nightlight. Not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death would rather die than tell Chuck that.
Chuck Norris is the only man allowed to touch Mr. T's mohawk.
Chuck Norris went sky diving. He promised to never do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can punch a ghost back to reality.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris was in all the star wars movies... As the force.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
There is more...
To Chuck, a Zombie Apocalypse is just a bonus round.
Once, Chuck explained sound to a deaf person.
The original title for AVP was going to be Aliens and predators Vs. Chuck Norris. But the producers realised no-one wanted to see a film 9 seconds long.
When Chuck is swimming, don't bump into him... We don't want the Titanic happening again.
little boys sleep with superman pyjamas on. Superman sleeps with Chuck Norris pyjamas on.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
And finally my favorite:
When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed the world was going to end in the year 2012 he responded: "Depends on how i'm feeling that day."