So let me start out by saying I never expected this to happen let alone go as far as it did.  I have a girlfriend and a 5 month old son.  I've been working at my job for almost 2 years now, all of which ive been close friends with two people who happen to be married.  I've always been extremely close to the wife, Tracy.  Recently (3 or 4 months ago) we started having a relationship behind our significant others backs.  We fell in love got intimate but as of today (reason ive been lurking forums so much) she decided she was going to try and work out things with her husband who hasn't treated her the best instead of trying to work things out with me.  As if this wasn't bad enough shes 43 and I'm only 20.  I know it sounds crazy but love is love and now her husband knows about us she isn't allowed to speak to me.  She told me that i was the right one for her but with her husband still around now wasn't the right time.  We all three work the same exact schedule at the same time.  Any advice on how to move forward on this? Anyone have any words of wisdom?  Any help at all will really be appreciated. For those of you curious we each have relationships we wish would be better, like almost all people do.  The difference was we found everything in each other we had been missing all our lives.

Anything other than honesty is a horrid, horrid idea.  That's about as far as I'm willing to step into this discussion, however.

Most of my tips would be regarding functional poly setups, and I honestly doubt that will happen in this one.  Sorry and best of luck sorting everything out.

Hey bud,

 

There are a lot of issues at play here. First of all, does your significant other know about this other woman and relationship? If so, what was her reaction when she found out? Is your child with your current significant other?

She knew it was going on, weve since also been working on our relationship issues.  She found out about a month ago and yes my child is with my current GF. Her reaction was typical, very angry told me never to speak to her again etc. But when me and her first met she was in an unhappy relationship and decided to leave her bf instead of cheat so she felt where Tracy was coming from and let us continue to be friends but without the relationship aspect.

Edited April 4, 201313 yr by The Eskimo Prince

How do you feel about your current girlfriend right now? Do you believe that the issues that you are working through are insurmountable? Or do you think they can be addressed and that the two of you can resolve the issues?

They're definitely fixable.  One of the main issues has been her doing anything around the house.  She doesn't work anymore since we had the baby but even though she spends most of her time in the house its almost never picked up and she hasnt cooked a meal in the years ive been with her.   Thats been getting better.  Alot of this has been hey theres this person who's got everything I want willing to be in a relationship and i have everything shes been missing in her relationship why not get together and be a great couple?

She left her past boyfriend for you, then had your child, gave up her job to have that child and within a month you are seeing someone else. 

 

That is what your girlfriend is seeing right now. And she is right. 

 

Yet she is still willing to stick around. And you still want to run away with someone else?

As for looking after the house she has a 5 month old with her everyday. She may well be depressed. 

To be honest, this sounds a lot like you are expecting her to be the perfect housewife, yet that isn't what she wants. And then you got picked up by a woman who wasn't so much in it for a relationship but wanted to make her husband jealous so he would pay more attention to you and has thrown you away now she has got that. Go back to the girl that has done everything for you, and has your child and is willing to forgive you. 

How are things going? Making progress?

Mine and my gf's relationship is great.  Works still a bit awkward however seeing her 20 times a night and not being able to say anything is difficult.  Shes still texting me even though we agreed not to talk but other then that no communication what so ever.