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You are a LIAR!

According to research, the average person lies 3-5 times PER DAY.  I've always considered myself an honest person and thought for sure that couldn't be right.  So I've been paying close attention and it's AMAZING how easy it is to lie without even thinking about it.
 
This morning I greeted someone in the hall and they asked "How are you, Yates?"  "Good," I replied.  Good?  Really?  I'm tired because I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.  I'm a little sore from shoveling the driveway in the dark last night after working all day.  Oh, and when I took off my coat when I walked in the house and went to take my phone off my hip?  It was missing.  The only thing there was a broken iPhone holder.  I looked everywhere and tried calling my phone.  It's gone.  And I said I was "good."  <_<

 

I'm such a liar.

 

Oh, and I was listening to an interview with Alex Smith [QB for the KC Chiefs American Football Team] on ESPN radio this morning.  They asked him about the 3 game losing streak his team had earlier in the season.  He claimed it was a "good experience" and that it was something that "helped the team."  And he kept repeating it in such a way that it was an OBVIOUS lie.  I actually lost track of how many times he lied in that interview.  All "harmless" lies but certainly not honest responses.

 

According to some other research, these are the most common lies by gender:

 

Top ten lies men tell:

1. Nothing's wrong, I'm fine
2. This will be my last pint
3. No, your bum doesn't look big in that
4. I had no signal
5. My battery died
6. Sorry, I missed your call
7. I didn't have that much to drink
8. I'm on my way
9. It wasn't that expensive
10. I'm stuck in traffic

Top ten lies women tell:

1. Nothing's wrong, I'm fine
2. Oh, this isn't new, I've had it ages
3. It wasn't that expensive
4. It was in the sale
5. I'm on my way
6. I don't know where it is, I haven't touched it
7. I didn't have that much to drink
8. I've got a headache
9. No, I didn't throw it away
10. Sorry, I missed your call

 

So that got me thinking:

 

how often do YOU lie and what do YOU lie about the most?

Featured Replies

  • Author

I think my most common lies are:

 

1. You're welcome - To be honest, they are SELDOM "welcome." 

 

2. Don't worry about it - What I really want to say is "just let me do it so you don't screw it up."

 

3. I'm good - Covered above.  Sometimes I'm tired.  Sometimes I'm stressed.  Sometimes I'm sad.  It's just life.

 

4. I'm almost finished - Sometimes that means "oh crap!  I better get started on that!"  and sometimes that means "just hold your horses, I have higher priorities right now."

4. I'm almost finished - Sometimes that means "oh crap!  I better get started on that!"  and sometimes that means "just hold your horses, I have higher priorities right now."

THIS!
  • Author

 

4. I'm almost finished - Sometimes that means "oh crap!  I better get started on that!"  and sometimes that means "just hold your horses, I have higher priorities right now."

THIS!

 

Yeah.  That would be my #1 if it wasn't for the fact I'm pretty good at getting work stuff off my plate.  So, really, I only end up saying that a few times a month.

 

Phone update: I use the "Find My Phone" app?  Whoever took my phone last night is currently shopping in Cooperstown, NY - about 90 minutes away from where I "lost it" at work.  And my iPhone tells me every time that person moves.  LOL

Saying "you're welcome" is a fairly common custom and courtesy and isn't really done as a lie but rather a common response. As for the lies prevalent in the interview you spoke of if he was honest and said the team played pathetic and what not moral and unit cohesion would almost  certainly take a hit. Thus lies are not inherently good or bad and depending on the situation can be more appropriate than the truth. This mostly just applies to the small more insignificant lies and don't take what I said as an excuse to lie to your loved ones. Sometimes the small lies are used to avoid petty conflict or to motivate others which can do more good than the truth could. The saying ignorance is bliss comes to mind here. 

Again this is really only aimed at white lies so don't get out of hand with your lies as I can guarantee they won't end well.

As for me my most common on that list would have to be "sorry I missed your call" or some variation of that, I often let my phone ring through without answering for a variety of reasons.

  • Author

Thus lies are not inherently good or bad and depending on the situation can be more appropriate than the truth.

Yeah. We've all seen "Liar Liar." :P

 

The point is that it is easy to forget how many deceptions we put out into the universe for any number of reasons.  To me, it's just interesting to try to track it for a day or two and to be aware of it when it is/I think it is happening.  So in a moment of self awareness, I wrote down the ones I see myself doing the most often.  As a mostly courteous person and [i think anyway] a good team player, those were the deceptions I use the most - obviously I'm mostly using these deceptions for "good" and not "evil."

 
2. Oh, this isn't new, I've had it ages

3. It wasn't that expensive

4. It was in the sale

 

 
6. I don't know where it is, I haven't touched it

9. No, I didn't throw it away

 

Oh lawl

As far as saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay" goes, I generally consider myself okay if I am alive and capable of enjoying life. If I'm sad or angry or tired or stressed out or in pain, generally I consider myself okay as long as I'm healthy, alive, capable of enjoying life. Oh and that the people I love are happy, since nothing seems to matter otherwise.

 

As for missing calls, I can't recall a time I lied about it. I'm just honest with people as far as communication goes. Unless I'm texting, and angry at someone or about something. I'll say 'I missed your text' as a preface to a response, but just so that they don't feel I've neglected them (as I was not in the mood for communication at the time). For what it is, I say it's a lie that's normally used without the intent to harm, but instead to comfort and soothe others. A white lie that doesn't hurt anybody and does nothing but good.

On that note, I think saying something you bought something was inexpensive is usually just a ploy to make them feel less indebted to you or that their gifts aren't as good. I'd use this more often if I weren't so good at finding things cheap.

Now aside from lies I use to cover my tracks when secretly buying gifts (which I've done a lot recently during the holidays), I don't think any of the lies I use on a daily basis are done with ill intent. In fact I'd argue that most of these common lies really are for the best.

As for me my most common on that list would have to be "sorry I missed your call" or some variation of that, I often let my phone ring through without answering for a variety of reasons.

I consider this missing a call. Dunno why. I just say that I either didn't get there in time, or missed it for whatever reason (like being busy, not hearing the phone ring, general indifference)

We want someone who can be flexible. 

 

(Said at interview for a job that was three months of the same stuff day in day out)

I was told that too, but in my case it was true and I haven't had the same work week twice in a row for like a month. I'm the mornings/backup guy (I prefer to call myself 'the entirely dependable one', but that's just my vanity speaking).

"I know just how you feel" when I don't have a clue what you're whining about, or give a crap.

 

"Sorry, I've been really busy" when I've just been procrastinating because, once again, I don't give a crap.

 

"It must be around here somewhere" when I've just thrown it in the trash because it is crap.

 

"That's really good" when it is just plain crap.

 

However, when I say that something is crap, I am always telling the truth.

  • Author

However, when I say that something is crap, I am always telling the truth.

That's deep.
  • 4 weeks later...

I'm probably one of the few persons who misses calls and texts a lot due to laziness of checking his phone :P

 

 

I do that at times...depending on how important i feel the person is

I always just ignore my phone.

 

"Why didn;t you answer"

 

"My phone didn't receive anything."

 

 

My wife uses that excuse...though she has sprint, so she suually doesn't get my calls

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