The Race for the Democrat Nomination
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If you can call this a race, I felt I should post this. We have to be fair, right?
This one took a while, but the DNC of Iowa stepped in and settled it with a coin toss. That's right... there were six precincts that were dead tied... so the Iowa establishment Democrats took it upon themselves to perform 6 coin tosses to decide who won these precincts... and Hillary Clinton won all six. Now the chances of winning 6 coin tosses in a row are 1 in 64... so you do the math and we all know they just gave them all to Clinton. This is why Democrats are always against voter ID laws.
So on to the official results...
Hillary Clinton - 49.8%
Bernie Sanders - 49.6%
Martin O'Malley - <1%
Martin O'Malley has pulled out... I'm stunned because I felt he was on the verge of catching fire. There were problems with Camp Bernie early in the evening when it became apparent that they didn't have enough pot brownies to go around... so many of his supporters left early. Hillary on the other hand, had plenty of free birth control pills to go around, and was able to hold on to her people long enough to register the votes.
Entrance polling was telling. Democrat voters chose Bernie Sanders as the candidate most likely to do armpit farts during a State of the Union Address... and Hillary, by a wide margin, took candidate most likely to be incarcerated. On to New Hampshire my friends!