14 replies to this topic

[Cadana]

Imagine, you get to know a woman. A woman who is all smile, with eyes sparkling. A woman who loves to dance, and does this at whatever occassion see can find, or create. A woman who is full of love, not the romantic or sexual kind of love, but the real -deep- love. A woman who gives this love to all who cross her path, and whose lives are more bright because of this.

 

Imagine knowing such a woman, the most cheerful and lively person in the world. Imagine working with a woman like that in an intense week, where the team really has to "connect".

 

Now imagine hearing this woman has walked out of her home, and walked into an icecold river, with only one objective: suicide.

She succeeds.

 

It is in days such as these, that nothing which occupies your mind, seems to have any importance left.

If SHE can somehow feel that this is the best solution...then how many others could be out there who need support...?

 

Makes you think...

 

 

 

 

Q&A

Is this true or did you make it up?

-> It is true

What is the background?

-> I met her when we did a week of volunteer work for those with less. We've kept in touch. As I understand it now, she's been plagued by "dark thoughts" for a while.

[Nick The Great]

this is sad.  Did you make this up, or is it a true story?

[Cadana]

It's true, alright...

[Bill N Ted]

Whats the back ground?  

[ccabal86]

I'm really sorry for your loss Cadana

Maybe with her kind behavior she was masking some deep personal problems that she never revealed to anyone. Unfortunately, friends often find this out when it's already too late

[FS108]

Reminds me sorta of my best friend when he was a live and my cousin my they rest in peace  

[Duderonomy]

Sad to hear about it. Unfortunately, suicide is usually a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When emotions get overwhelming and you don't want to burden anyone else with them, it can seem like there's no other answer. Often, just preventing the initial suicide attempt can give the person time to deal with those emotions. Sorry to hear you didn't get that chance. Not everyone does.

[Bill N Ted]

 I met her when we did a week of volunteer work for those with less. We've kept in touch. As I understand it now, she's been plagued by "dark thoughts" for a while.

 

Sorry for you loss; I wasnt sure weather she was a significant other or just someone in the local area that you knew.  I did assume someone that you cared about.

[Cadana]

 

 I met her when we did a week of volunteer work for those with less. We've kept in touch. As I understand it now, she's been plagued by "dark thoughts" for a while.

 

Sorry for you loss; I wasnt sure weather she was a significant other or just someone in the local area that you knew.  I did assume someone that you cared about.

 

 

We met not very often, but when we did, the conversations were deep and intense and the joy was bright and amazing. It makes me wonder; could I have seen it? Could I have done something? How many others are there who are in a similar situation that I am unaware of...

 

survivor guilt is kicking in heavily...

[Lysistrata]

This is sad, period. But don't beat yourself up over it. It's not your fault, or was it your responsibility.

I have had friends commit suicide for different reasons, but in all cases it's about them and something they could not deal with.

Suicide is the most selfish act anyone can do, and the last act they will be remembered for. I hope the best for you, always.

[Icewolf]

I hope you come through this ok...it is always very difficult to know what someone is thinking and it is always hard to know if you could have done more. I doubt you could have to be honest, as suicide and mental illness are very complicated things and it is very hard to notice when you meet someone only every now and then. 

 

People hide things. Our society is very judgmental and that causes people to hide illness they should not. Depression is also rarely constant and steady. It goes up and down, and someone can be happy one day and crushed by despair the next. People slip in and out and if you meet them only when they are happy you will never know what is wrong. 

 

I've been through the rough ride with mental illness of friends and relations over the years and you will always wonder if you could have done more, or if it was partly your fault, or what you can do differently. But if there is one thing I have learned it is that beating yourself up for it is selfish as it make it harder to continue helping where it is needed, and you need to get on and give the support to the person or persons you need to support. 

 

Another thing to remember is that although she did not make the decision, her illness made it for her. It was not made by an outside person, and you certainly did not make it or cause it. 

 

I know nothing I can write here will really have helped much. If you need a sympathetic ear then my inbox is open. 

[Blade 619]

I'm sorry I don't have more time to respond fully, if you are experiencing survivor guilt and are finding it hard to deal with, I highly recommend seeking professional assistance before it eats you.

[Jiang Zhijian]

Sometimes, someone hides his/fer true feelings by showing the otherwise to others around him/her.

 

These kind of person needs to feel that he/she is loved by his/her closest person for everything he/she has.

 

[TheWanderer]

Sorry to hear this, Cadana.

 

In these situations it's never anyone else's fault. Mental illness is a dark, complex and lonely experience.

 

The fact that you have glowing memories of her speaks volumes, and is the best tribute you could give.

[Cadana]

Sometimes, someone hides his/fer true feelings by showing the otherwise to others around him/her.

 

These kind of person needs to feel that he/she is loved by his/her closest person for everything he/she has.

 

 

Despite the strong christian religious background of the video, I just cried my eyes out (again).