RearviewRover kidnaped MrFinch, thus preventing him from actually keeping this thread alive

Brewer has a religious shrine dedicated to the General spam section

Brewer has a religious shrine dedicated to the General spam section

i thought this section was for lies... 

 

Cankles cries himself to sleep every night because when he was a child the family rabbit would nibble on his cankles as if they were a carrot 

He does not brew anything

Artazulan is currently wanted by the US government for being a former soviet era KGB agent

brewersalliance is wanted by the Kremlin for being a former Cold War era CIA agent.

RearviewRover totally did not use the exact same lie as me but just change the two intelligence agencies around

Brewersalliance planted drugs on parents to have the house alone

President Haze was the one who sold me the drugs

Brewersalliance still owes me for the drugs I sold him last month.

RearviewRover wants me to pay in uses jock straps for the drugs he sold me

brewers actually has that many used jock straps sitting around his house.

Rearview rover broke into my house just to smell the used jock straps

Brewers only knows that because he stalks me.

rover is paranoid and thinks everyone is stalking him, when in reality he lives in a mental hospital and all that is just happening in his head. 

Brewers is my bunk mate.

Rover hates playing videogames, especially ones that are set in a post apocalyptic dystopian world with atomic power and robots.

is as good looking as I am

KitKat doesn't know what a lie is

Brewers is a terrible writer for the paper.

rover cried himself to sleep because my writing was so bad

Brewers is wanted in 7 states for stealing used jock straps from mental patients.

thats actually true

 

count doesnt know how to count 

Brewers only has 3! 3 posts in the spam section AH AH AH!!!

count actually has someone else write all his posts for him because not only can he not count but he also cannot type because he is a bat and has no hands