I've closely known a few people who've done very crazy shit and I assure you, the signs are rarely there. Or at least rarely obvious. In my experience, crazy shit like this tends to drop out of the blue and seemingly decided on impulse rather than thought.
I don't think the Father is to blame at all here. But he's damn well retarded & guilty for not handling that situation like a man.
I skipped reading the news articles bbecause it was too sad. I think it is unfair to blame the husband, he had his limitations and weaknesses and couldn't know she was going to do that. If he was a woman would you judge her as harshly?
What woman will ever take you seriously again after you don't stand up for yourself? Apologise to the neighbour that's been fucking your wife?? Come onnnnnnnn
Clearly the guy is very troubled. Do you think it is an accident that he chose that woman for a wife? Do you think there no clues at all that she was a sick, twisted individual? None of this happened in a vacuum. There are always signs if you are willing and able to see them. He acted like he was blindsided and was a victim because that was who he was, a victim in his life. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. We choose our partners and how we handle the cards life deals us, and we do the best we can with what we have to work with. This guy was in a lot of trouble long before that mess went down and I don't think he had many inner resources available to him.
I don't see how he shares any form of blame here at all.
Just because you miss the signs doesn't mean there are no signs. With that said, I don't think the guy is at fault, I just think he showed poor judgement in how he handled things with the affair. He knew his wife was cheating, lying, emotionally blackmailing, gaslighting, and he chose to tolerate all that. As I said, we do the best we can with what we have to work with and this guy was very limited.
This is like saying I should have known when a friend was going to kill themselves, rob a bank or commit murder. I didn't though, neither did their families. Nobody did, because those signs simply were not there. You could say we all missed the signs but you'd think at least one person would see it if it were there.
When it comes to this situation, cheating and tolerating it, and expecting that this will lead to a murder/suicide, that's silly. My own significant other and I have been through similar things and nobody has been killed. The huge, huge majority of people don't go out and murder their children because they can't keep their legs closed.
And like I said, crazy shit like this, in my experience, tends to come out of the blue, often from people you'd least expect.
I saw someone stab another man to death over a girl. He was just a kid and not the type you'd ever expect to kill someone. Drunken argument breaks out one night and the next thing you know, some other kid is bleeding to death for trying to break up a fight.
Nobody saw that coming and people who weren't there didn't believe it for a while just because nobody would expect him to do something like that.
When emotions like this are involved, things can easily happen spontaneously. If such warning signs were at all obvious or easy to catch, we probably wouldn't have so many terror attacks.