Granted, but it's non-alcoholic beer.

 

I wish that Michael Bay movies didn't exist.

Granted but they are the exact same movies just with a different director and producer

 

I wish I could go home

Granted, but your home is in your mom's house. I wish I could see boobs

Granted, but they're man-boobs, and no you can't touch them either .

 

I wish Elder Scrolls 6 would come out already

Granted. But, it is set in middle Earth.

I wish I could own a Ferrari.

granted but it is only on a video game

 

i wish it was my birthday

Granted, but everyone forgets and you get no presents. Also a pigeon poops on your head.

 

I wish I had a house at the beach.

granted but it gets destroyed by a tsunami 

 

i wish i had an apple

 

Here you go

 

I wish for more wishes.

Damn she is hottttt

 

Granted but you can't use them

 

I wish to be President of the United States

Granted but the year is 1861. And, you are Abraham Lincoln. 

 

I wish somone would cut my grass.

Granted, but they do such a horrible job, it would have been better off to leave it uncut.

 

I wish I followed a better sleeping schedule.

Granted but you never wake up

 

I wish this dog was mine

Granted but you are arrested for dog-napping.

 

I wish for the answer to life the universe and everything.

granted but it makes you lose your mind and you go crazy and die

 

i wish i could enjoy this beautiful weather 

Granted you enjoy it for 5 seconds and then you are hit by a freak tornado.

 

I wish I knew what to eat for dinner.

granted but you cannot eat because your mouth is glued shut

 

I wish my co workers would stop stealing my pens

Granted. They steal everything else instead.

 

I wish there was something good on TV.

granted, I am now on your tv 24/7 every single channel for the rest of your life  

 

I wish it was 9pm

Granted. You find yourself in the middle of the atlantic ocean where it is currently 9 PM. Hope you're a good swimmer.

 

I wish I had my own private island kingdom out of the path of any hurricanes. (Not gonna make it THAT easy for you )

granted but instead it is on a fault line and sinks because of an earthquake 

 

 

i wish i had a donkey

Granted, but it's a bad ass and kicks you in the face.

 

I wish people would accept my trade requests

granted but then your nation gets deleted on accident due to a server malfunction 

 

I wish you would change your picture on here to a selfie of me

Granted, but everyone thinks it's too scary for the forums so I have to change it back.

 

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I'd truly like to be. Cause if I were an oscar mayer wiener. Everyone would be in love with me!

granted but you are forgot in the package and start to get moldy so you get thrown away and no one loves you

 

i wish i had off work today