Granted. Work now feels a little off today. You think all your coworkers might have been replaced by aliens.

 

I wish it wasn't raining so I could play mini-golf

granted.  instead there are fireballs falling from the sky and gale force winds.  I think the world is ending

 

I wish I was drunk

Granted you turn into a beer and someone drinks you. 

 

I wish someone would make Spaceballs 3: The search for Spaceballs 2

granted but it sucks

 

i wish it was my birthday

Granted, but it's just as bad as when you wished for it on page 3 and you get stuck in a groundhog day loop of crappy birthdays and pigeons pooping on your head.

 

I wish I knew where the rebel base was so I could get my death star plans back. 

Granted but when you finally find the base, the rebels attack, and a young son of a sith lord uses the force and shoots a torpedo in the exhaust port, destroying the death star and killing you because you are on it

 

I still wish it was my birthday

Granted but no one wishes you or give you gifts.

 

I wish I can go on a world tour.

Granted, but it's this one, and you're not one of the monsters.

 

 

 

I wish my floors were done being refinished so I can leave my house

Granted but no one wishes you or give you gifts.

 

I wish I can go on a world tour.

sounds exactly like my real birthday thanks a lot

 

granted, but when you leave the people that were doing your floors come back and steal everything in your house

 

I wish for $100000000000000000000

Granted but it's in pennies and they are dropped on your head all at once.

 

I wish the weekend was longer than 2 days.

granted, but you now have to work weekends

 

i wish i could go swimming 

Granted. You go swimming in a sewer.

 

I wish there was something good to watch.

granted but you go blind and cant watch it

 

I wish for a non corrupted wish

Granted. Your wish for an uncorrupted wish wasn't corrupted at all. Your balance is now 0. 

 

I wish I knew what game I wanted to play.

granted.  you now know you want to play Russian Roulette

 

I wish It was sunday

Granted, but it's not your funday or your "I don't have to run" day.

 

I wish the next person couldn't make a wish.

granted, however, no one on earth is considered a person anymore now they are called Peeps

 

I'm gonna give the next guy a challenge, I want a magic wand with unlimited wishes, unlimited uses, that can make the wishes pop into existence without any physical, mental, or emotional payment or backlash, and they can work in this world and the spells can grant any wish without failure, and the wand is real, good luck!

Hmmm, I will have a go at it.

 

Your wish is granted. You have a magical wand that makes your every wish come true. You wish for 100 million dollars and a bag full of money materializes out of thin air. Your joy know no bounds. You can make yourself happy and your enemies tremble.

 

But with euphoria comes paranoia. The wand grants it's wielder any wish, so if somehow you lose the wand or it is stolen you will also lose the power. You realize the power is in the wand not in you. You need to correct that. So you gear up for your wish - "I wish to have all the powers of the wand to myself. From now on I will be the one who makes wishes come true, not this wand.". POOF!!! Your wish is granted, but you forgot one little thing. The magical wand had that power because only a magical wand can wield such power. So here you are, transformed into a wand, lying neglected on the ground, waiting for someone to pick you up and making their wish come true 

 

 

My wish - I can see future and change it to my suiting.

granted but everyone else also gets that power so it causes the universe to shatter and impload and cease to exist

 

i wish for a back massage by kate upton

granted, but the massage comes from a bear named Kate Upton

 

I wish for the earth to explode

granted but everyone knew it was going to explode so all of humanity evacuated and found a new plant.  too bad you forgot to set your alarm clock and got left behind as the only person on earth to die when it explodes

 

i wish i could punch my co worker in the face and have no repercussions from it 

granted, however, your co-worker is replaced by 12 whom's sole job is to annoy you to death

 

I wish to become the best video game designer or any type of video games, every year, every day, and praised as the god of video games

granted you become a copy of the ET video game (look at your post, you said *or*)

 

 

I wish I was married to Carrie Underwood 

granted, however you divorce after 1 week, you are known as a cheater, and your car/truck/whatever gets destroyed like in the song "Before He Cheats"

 

I wish to be the best Gamer in the universe and be allowed to play all the video games I want, whenever I want, and get paid for it

well asl long as we consummated the marriage im ok with that          

 

granted but both of your hands need to get amputated and you go blind from playing to many games

 

 

I wish for a cheeseless pizza