sounds like leprosy 

 

granted, but the pizza also has no bread, or sauce, or toppings, and is just air, enjoy your air pizza 

 

I want 1,000,000,000,000 dollars, and I want it all cleanly, everyone and everything to be happy with me, no issues with me at all or any death, no printing at all, and I gain it all right away, and in a safe bank account that will give me the money whenever I want, never closes down or takes my money away from me, along with that I don't have to spend it on anything and I am allowed to spend it on whatever I want

Granted, but you can only withdraw one cent at a time.

 

I wish for a chocolate-chip cookie.

granted but its poisoned

 

I wish i was off work

Granted, but you will be fired if you go back.

 

I wish to jump off a building and die

granted but you find out its groundhog day and keep living the same day over and over

 

I wish I was Batman

Granted, but you're Val Kilmer as Batman.

 

I wish I had my own private jet.

granted, its a toy jet

 

I wish i could still have the nipple bat suit from batman and robin tho

Granted, but it's only the nipples.

 

I wish I could win the lottery.

Granted but you lose the ticket.

 

I wish I can make people laugh.

Granted, but it's always due to personal injury.

 

I wish I could get to this 50 post minimum faster.

granted but the headmaster decides not to graduate you anyways

 

I wish I could lose weight from eating pizza

granted, but everytime you eat a slice you have a 1% chance of dying

 

I wish

totally worth it.  as long as there is no cheese!

 

 

granted but since you made no wish, you become unmade youself

 

I wish the Cubs lose every game for the rest of their existence 

Granted, but then the Brewers fold completely.

 

I wish the Penguins would 3-peat and win the Stanley Cup again.

Thats fine they suck most years anyways

 

granted but then the NHL dissolves the very next day

 

 

I wish I didnt have to wake up at 6am on sunday

Granted, but you never wake up again.

 

I wish I had a steak right now.

granted but its from silzers and you die

 

I wish it was my day off

Granted, but it's also your last day off for the rest of your life.

 

I wish it was pay day.

granted but you dont get paid because you got fired

 

 

I wish it was friday

Granted, but time goes backwards, so after Friday comes Thursday.

 

I wish Mars would be colonized

granted but its colonized by an alien race with their sights set on earth next

 

 

I wish i had a taco

Granted, but it's a vegan taco.

 

I wish I didn't have to attend my step-mother's surprise 60th birthday party on Saturday.

granted but you dont have to go because you are taken captive by the north koreans

 

I wish I had a steak taco, and it is delicious 

granted but its really a stinky fish taco

 

i wish for more coffee

granted but its cold old and stale

 

I wish to win all of my fantasy football leagues