granted but your the only person on earth that plays

 

i wish for some beer money

granted but prohibition is enacted again

 

I wish for a beer

you get your beer but its a flat stale odouls

 

i wish for another piece of cheesecake

granted but someone else steals it and eats it

 

 

i wish it was 9pm

Ah, but it is 9pm! Just not here. 

 

I wish I could take a nap right now.

Granted but you wake up naked with your hands tied to your ankles in a random corn field

 

I wish the Cubs lose

Granted, but there's no people to witness the event.

 

I wish to fly

Granted. You fly for 3 seconds, and then crash into a volcano.

 

 

I wish I had faster internet.

Granted but you have nothing to access it with

 

I wish it was summer

Granted. But you have 3rd and 4th degree burns all over you ENTIRE body.

 

 

I wish it wasn't almost 90 degrees.

That's hot.

 

Granted but its instead absolute zero.

 

I wish it was 5

Granted, but it's in the morning.

 

I wish for Christmas to come early

granted but you get no gifts

 

i wish aaron rodgers never broke his collarbone  :( 

Granted, but because of the accident he decides to start playing chess instead.

 

I wish Brewers would be a Seahawks fan

Granted but I am now a fan of the actual animal and not the team. I wish I could drink beer at work

Granted, but it's＄46.99 per a pint.

 

I wish I would know an extinct language

If it's good beer that's worth it

 

Granted but that's because you grew up in ancient Rome and ended up getting murdered by barbarians.

 

I wish I didn't have to work weekends

Granted, but everyone starts to hate you because of your privilege.

 

I wish to have a pickup.

They already hate me so it's cool

 

Granted. Someone picks u up and throws you. I wish I had free lunch today

Granted, but what you consider "free" is actually ＄10.

 

I wish to destroy all Davian's nukes

granted but he buys more and permanently ZI's you

 

I wish the Packers win today

Granted, but today becomes yesterday and everybody forgets about it

 

I wish I to eat a baguette

Granted but you choke and die

 

I wish for my next wish to be uncorruptible

Granted, but as a result, the pack must loose every game for the rest of all time.

 

 

 

I wish it wasn't fuckin raining AGAIN!

Granted. It never stops snowing instead

 

I wish the Packers never lose another game (this is my GRANTED uncorruptible wish)