Sister Midnight, once secretly petrified that the local squirrel population was plotting to take over the world, placed poisoned nuts all over her front yard. The only victim of the trap happened to be the neighbor's son. Midnight blamed it on the squirrels, and the whole neighborhood set out on a genocidal campaign to eradicate the squirrels, who were then forced to take up arms and wage a geurrilla campaign against the community. Seven bloody years of chaos, suffering, and dispair and thousands of casualties later, the fighting has grid locked with no end in sight. Sister Midnight's only regret? She wishes she had used the leftover almonds for the trap instead and saved the cashews for herself.

There's a grain of truth to that story. I waged war against my local squirrels because they were raiding my birdfeeders at an alarming rate. I booby-trap the feeders, I used squirrel repellent sprays powders and other products, I bought "squirrel proof feeder's." The war was ended when I got a cat and had to take down all the feeders because my cat is a viscous killer. I'd call it a draw, really.

 

Anyway, back on topic, Rover is secretly in love with Betty White. He's president of her fan club.

Sister Midnight is actually David Bowie who changed the way he looked to escape his rabid fans

Fermion is my rabid fan

All Midnight really wants is for Senpai to notice her.

Review it Sendai.

There was a member senpai who had the siggy "senpai noticed me" lol

 

Sister Midnight is a big anime fan and tends to yell japanese expletives when her pillow kun is taken from her.

Fermion has secret access to all meetings of the Masons.

I was part of the grand lodge of freemasons in 2013 hahahaha

 

Sister Midnight once sent someone a vibrator packed in a box of cucumbers. She is the secret santa the world deserves, though one it doesn't particularly needs right now

HAHHAHAHAHA!!!

 

Fermion knows this because I sent him that crate of cucumbers.

I want you to listen to me.

I'm going to say this again:

I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

And now I need to go back to work for the IRON.

Thank you.

I'm not jealous of Joe's casualties at all :v

Isn't that a lie about yourself?

 

Fermion doesn't know what a lie is.

Midnight always reads the Terms and Agreements before accepting.

Rover doesn't like anyone with the letter P in their name.

Sister midnight only knows this because she has a P in her name.

SeaBeeGipson likes to soak old gym socks in chicken broth to make soup.

MrFinch is really just reflecting all of his own fears and insecurities on others in this thread.

RearviewRover takes the nail clippings from the local salon and makes nail art with different colored glue.

MrFinch is actually a turkey vulture.

RearveiwRover is more of a Range Rover.

Midnight is really Noon.

RearviewRover never looks back.

CoD has been posting in this thread every day and then deleting it before anyone can see.

Midnight only knows this because she remotely hacks into CoD's computer to monitor all his online activity.

Loves being accused of dilly dallying when he's clearly lollygagging.