51 replies to this topic

[Lysistrata]

I'm guessing it was probably a lot harder for you since you didn't have the gift of not knowing the person, or ever developing any kind of love or affection for them.

My brother is 3 years older than me, and things were different when we were younger. He had this weird code that he lived by, that he could beat me up anytime he wanted... but nobody else could. He was very protective of me, and beat the shit out of anyone that picked on me, or stole money from me, or did anything to me really. I think he just liked to fight. So during my teens, everyone was afraid of me, so I didn't have too many problems in that area. He always had a weakness for anything that would get him high... started about 13 years old huffing gas in a baggie... then alcohol... pot... speed... crank... coke... heroin... meth... just anything. What a waste of life. My kids barely know who he is.

[TheSphinxOfDarkness]

 

I'm guessing it was probably a lot harder for you since you didn't have the gift of not knowing the person, or ever developing any kind of love or affection for them.

My brother is 3 years older than me, and things were different when we were younger. He had this weird code that he lived by, that he could beat me up anytime he wanted... but nobody else could. He was very protective of me, and beat the shit out of anyone that picked on me, or stole money from me, or did anything to me really. I think he just liked to fight. So during my teens, everyone was afraid of me, so I didn't have too many problems in that area. He always had a weakness for anything that would get him high... started about 13 years old huffing gas in a baggie... then alcohol... pot... speed... crank... coke... heroin... meth... just anything. What a waste of life. My kids barely know who he is.

 

 

My brother was kinda the same way with the beating me up. I'm more of a druggie than he is, but that's not really saying much, the hardest thing I've had were a handful of percocets. My dad's side of the family however, they are all a bunch of used up druggie losers. My dad's nephew has six kids (another on the way) who my grandma takes care of, and his sister has 2 or 3 now, and both of those people are probably high off their asses right now on meth or heroin. And the first time I ever met my uncle I had bought some weed and we were smoking it (I was sixteen at the time) and he says to me "You wanna do some heroin?" and I just looked at him for a while thinking what the fuck, then he say's "We aren't gonna inject it or nothin, we just gonna snort it". I said no and was then offered hookers. I got a pretty good story out of I guess.

[Dandy]

Well, hope you guys don't judge me.

I spent 3 years in prison for assault with a deadly weapon and destruction of private property.

When I was 16 my sister was dating an OK guy named Nick. Nick had been in prison for some drug use and driving violations including drunk driving. He swore off drugs, and promised her he would get clean and get on the straight and narrow.

One day, a Thursday I believe because it was after baseball practice, my cousin had just dropped me off at home and was grabbing something from the garage that he left the previous week. As I opened the front door and took some steps inside, Nick shoved me out of the way and bolted to his car. I figured that he was running late for something, so I dropped my equipment bag by the door and headed off to the kitchen to see what was for dinner.

As I crossed through the family room, I saw my sister on the floor near one of the couches, blood on her face. I think a bit of me snapped right there. I ran towards the door, grabbed my bat from my bag and yelled out the door for my cousin Travis to "Grab that fucker Nick.". According the travis' side of things, he was already on his way to Nick's car to show him a car part he had just bought for his car. I don't remember much from that exact moment, I just remember Travis holding the back of his shirt and a " whoa wait" when I brought my bat across the back of his head.

Official record is I hit him 16 times. Then I went on to smash his cars Windows, windshield, and destory parts of his center console in his car along with some damage to the outside. Travis called the cops and we waited on the curb for them to arrive.

It was originally an attempted murder charge due to injuries, but agreed to drop it for assault with a deadly weapon if I agreed to be tried as an adult. They went lienet on me in sentencing for a guilty plea because of my emotional distress, the sight of my sister, and if I plead guilty they would let my cousin off the hook. Travis refused to have the charges dropped, so I got 5 years with possibility of parole in 3.5, Travis got 2.. Travis got out in 1.5 years for good behavior. He was only charged with being an accomplice, I got out in 3 for good behavior, school degree in hand. I got my GED in prison, applied through a rightful education program and earned an actual diploma with some college credit.

As for the experience...it was mixed.

Life was everyday. Wasn't some horror movie, or terrible cop show drama. Most of the guys there were in for small stuff, theft, robbery, carjacking. You get the picture. Most were just guys who didn't know anything else. One guy was there because he held up a corner store, because he was laid off work and had bills to pay and kids to feed. He felt so bad about it he turned himself in. Most aren't sorry for what they do, it's their way of life. They aren't bad guys, most of them anyway. Just outside your typical...er law abiding citizen. They just want to do their time, get out and rebuild their lives. There was on guy, Trey, nicest guy that I ever met, big black guy, was there on rape charges because his boyfriend and him were in the middle of...activities when his boyfriends preist father came home early, caught them, and Trey's boyfriend claimed Trey had broken in and forced him into such a thing. Even though the cops took his phone into evidence and had proof that was not the case, it was a small town in the American South. He didn't stand a chance.

But I ramble.

We got up, lights on, 7am every morning. Drop off laundry, breakfast, shower, yard time, study/vocational training, lunch, yard time, free time, facility maintinece, letters, dinner, shower, free time, lights out 9pm every night.

There were fights, stabbings, threats, gangs, but mostly everyone just tried to make it to the end. You stayed away from the people you knew were trouble, get to know a guard or two because maybe their wife has a book you like or makes extra cookies for their kids class and hey you seem like nice enough kid.

All about keeping you mouth shut, the head down, and surive.

Moral of the story, got out, joined the army because it was at a period in the war that they just needed bodies to fill uniforms, and here I am.

Hope this little delve into my life was worth the read. Hope no one thinks I'm the boogy man now, rather big stigmatism after people know you saw the manufacturer's warranty on the lock. Oh well, I trust you guys.

[Samus]

Really really interesting story Dandy. Thank you for sharing that with us.

 

And no I don't think you're the boogey man haha, pretty sure many of us would have reacted the same in your situation, don't find it anything but normal tbh

[Shahenshah]

Yup, would've had similar reaction their dandy.

I was in class 3 or something, my lil sis was in KG, some boy annoyed her, so she told me, I just went and kicked him in the nuts lol. Turns out he had a big brother in 10th or something, got a very nice beating after school, but that boy never bothered my sis again.

 

Anyway, perhaps I've been fortunate enough to not have visited the jail nor I know of anyone that's been to jail. I did talk my way out of it (and give a pack of cigarettes) because the number plate color of my once-recently bought vehicle was a bit too fancy for the law.  Nothing ever serious. 

[Fox Fire]

I've been detained and charged with minor things several times, but I've never even been to jail.

 

 

Well, hope you guys don't judge me.

I spent 3 years in prison for assault with a deadly weapon and destruction of private property.

When I was 16 my sister was dating an OK guy named Nick. Nick had been in prison for some drug use and driving violations including drunk driving. He swore off drugs, and promised her he would get clean and get on the straight and narrow.

One day, a Thursday I believe because it was after baseball practice, my cousin had just dropped me off at home and was grabbing something from the garage that he left the previous week. As I opened the front door and took some steps inside, Nick shoved me out of the way and bolted to his car. I figured that he was running late for something, so I dropped my equipment bag by the door and headed off to the kitchen to see what was for dinner.

As I crossed through the family room, I saw my sister on the floor near one of the couches, blood on her face. I think a bit of me snapped right there. I ran towards the door, grabbed my bat from my bag and yelled out the door for my cousin Travis to "Grab that fucker Nick.". According the travis' side of things, he was already on his way to Nick's car to show him a car part he had just bought for his car. I don't remember much from that exact moment, I just remember Travis holding the back of his shirt and a " whoa wait" when I brought my bat across the back of his head.

Official record is I hit him 16 times. Then I went on to smash his cars Windows, windshield, and destory parts of his center console in his car along with some damage to the outside. Travis called the cops and we waited on the curb for them to arrive.

It was originally an attempted murder charge due to injuries, but agreed to drop it for assault with a deadly weapon if I agreed to be tried as an adult. They went lienet on me in sentencing for a guilty plea because of my emotional distress, the sight of my sister, and if I plead guilty they would let my cousin off the hook. Travis refused to have the charges dropped, so I got 5 years with possibility of parole in 3.5, Travis got 2.. Travis got out in 1.5 years for good behavior. He was only charged with being an accomplice, I got out in 3 for good behavior, school degree in hand. I got my GED in prison, applied through a rightful education program and earned an actual diploma with some college credit.

As for the experience...it was mixed.

Life was everyday. Wasn't some horror movie, or terrible cop show drama. Most of the guys there were in for small stuff, theft, robbery, carjacking. You get the picture. Most were just guys who didn't know anything else. One guy was there because he held up a corner store, because he was laid off work and had bills to pay and kids to feed. He felt so bad about it he turned himself in. Most aren't sorry for what they do, it's their way of life. They aren't bad guys, most of them anyway. Just outside your typical...er law abiding citizen. They just want to do their time, get out and rebuild their lives. There was on guy, Trey, nicest guy that I ever met, big black guy, was there on rape charges because his boyfriend and him were in the middle of...activities when his boyfriends preist father came home early, caught them, and Trey's boyfriend claimed Trey had broken in and forced him into such a thing. Even though the cops took his phone into evidence and had proof that was not the case, it was a small town in the American South. He didn't stand a chance.

But I ramble.

We got up, lights on, 7am every morning. Drop off laundry, breakfast, shower, yard time, study/vocational training, lunch, yard time, free time, facility maintinece, letters, dinner, shower, free time, lights out 9pm every night.

There were fights, stabbings, threats, gangs, but mostly everyone just tried to make it to the end. You stayed away from the people you knew were trouble, get to know a guard or two because maybe their wife has a book you like or makes extra cookies for their kids class and hey you seem like nice enough kid.

All about keeping you mouth shut, the head down, and surive.

Moral of the story, got out, joined the army because it was at a period in the war that they just needed bodies to fill uniforms, and here I am.

Hope this little delve into my life was worth the read. Hope no one thinks I'm the boogy man now, rather big stigmatism after people know you saw the manufacturer's warranty on the lock. Oh well, I trust you guys.

I would have done the same thing if it were my sister. I may or may not have helped blow up someones car in a similar situation one time.    

[Sister Midnight]

Dandy, it was so generous of you to share that here.  Thank you!  I totally understand the desire to beat the living crap out of someone who hurts anyone I love.  When you're a kid there's little or no impulse control to help deal with something like this.  I'm sorry you went through all that, you seem like a very decent person despite everything you've been through.

 

I'm really touched by seeing so many people share their stories.  Samus, you should be proud that you've helped make an environment where people feel safe enough to share their experiences.

 

I haven't been to jail or prison and the thought of ever going is terrifying to me.  I'd willingly (albeit with a lot of anxiety) visit someone I care for in jail or prison, but I've been very lucky because I haven't ever been in that position.

[Lysistrata]

Well, hope you guys don't judge me.

Hey Dandy, you can't get out of it that easy... I'm judging you.

 

When the shit hits the fan, you are exactly the person I want on my side. Did you have a lawyer when this happened? I think they tricked you into agreeing to be tried as an adult. If you were tried as a minor, I think you would have been in until you turned 18, released, and your record probably would have been sealed. I don't know for sure, but I believe they don't hold kids forever responsible for their crimes. If it was me... I wouldn't have wrecked the car... but that's just me.

[ccabal86]

Worst part about it is i'm gonna end up as crazy as his entire family, they all have some sort of mental illness, well I guess it's a kind of inheritance.

 

Do not for a second believe that. Genes play a role, but it is ultimately epigenetic fact factors that count the most. In other words, how you live your life.

 

Dandy, that was an amazing story, thank you so much for sharing it. I find it atrocious that you got 3 years for that when convicted terrorists walk free after 10 in some places. If you're at fault for anything is not getting a good enough lawyer.

 

Unfortunately, most legal systems are either exclusively punitive or rehabilitative when in fact a tiered system would be best. Light offenders and people who had made a mistake, but are essentially good people should be given all support to better themselves and re-integrate into society as quickly and painlessly as possible. And then there are the genuine bad people like cold-blooded murderers, serial killers and terrorists who do not deserve a second chacne and the primary goal should be to eliminate them from society.

[Samus]

snip

I don't know if i'm dreaming or not, but this morning when I posted you weren't a mil officer..

Did this post get you the job?!?!

Samus, you should be proud that you've helped make an environment where people feel safe enough to share their experiences.

[Blade 619]

To be honest, if I'd have read you post before FB asked for you to be masked I'd have asked you if you wanted to be masked. Not because we want people with records, but more that we want people who'll defend IRON and if you defend IRON with 1/4 of what you defended your sister with... that'd probably be about right. But if you do find a way to hit BONES with 16 nukes at the same time, I'm all ears.

[Fox Fire]

Yeah I don't think anyone here cares much if someone has a criminal history. IRON is a pretty diverse alliance, yet we all get along pretty great, even when we disagree.

[Samus]

Yeah I don't think anyone here cares much if someone has a criminal history. IRON is a pretty diverse alliance, yet we all get along pretty great, even when we disagree.

for real for real

[Dandy]

I thank all of you for your understanding words. Better than I deserve really. Still, no one should ever take a kind word or gesture lightly. 

 

Really really interesting story Dandy. Thank you for sharing that with us.   And no I don't think you're the boogey man haha, pretty sure many of us would have reacted the same in your situation, don't find it anything but normal tbh

 

Kind of you, but people will always look at me differently. Sometimes it annoys me when my friends bring up to people I don't know that I am an ex-con. Their trust goes away. Everyone thinks that you now have a short temper, you'll steal anything you can get your hands on, that all the sudden I could lose it again and go on a killing spree. It was a mistake I now carry with me for the rest of my life. Even after I explain the story, I am just another thug who belongs on a chain gang. Regardless of how I speak and carry myself, I'm just trash who doesn't belong on the "outside".

 

 

Yup, would've had similar reaction their dandy. I was in class 3 or something, my lil sis was in KG, some boy annoyed her, so she told me, I just went and kicked him in the nuts lol. Turns out he had a big brother in 10th or something, got a very nice beating after school, but that boy never bothered my sis again.   Anyway, perhaps I've been fortunate enough to not have visited the jail nor I know of anyone that's been to jail. I did talk my way out of it (and give a pack of cigarettes) because the number plate color of my once-recently bought vehicle was a bit too fancy for the law.  Nothing ever serious. 

 

Always defend your own. No one ever blames you for defending your friends and family. Well, until you are in a jumpsuit with shackles on your wrists and ankles haha. Every scar, bruise, broken bone. Those are who your really are, and what you are willing to do for those that mean anything to you. Never lose that feeling.

 

 

I would have done the same thing if it were my sister. I may or may not have helped blow up someones car in a similar situation one time. 

 

Imma go ahead and pretend I didn't hear or read that. I wouldn't dime you, but I will glare at you and take your dinner cookie if I end up back under Johhny's roof because of you. Haha.

 

 

Dandy, it was so generous of you to share that here.  Thank you!  I totally understand the desire to beat the living crap out of someone who hurts anyone I love.  When you're a kid there's little or no impulse control to help deal with something like this.  I'm sorry you went through all that, you seem like a very decent person despite everything you've been through.   I'm really touched by seeing so many people share their stories.  Samus, you should be proud that you've helped make an environment where people feel safe enough to share their experiences.   I haven't been to jail or prison and the thought of ever going is terrifying to me.  I'd willingly (albeit with a lot of anxiety) visit someone I care for in jail or prison, but I've been very lucky because I haven't ever been in that position.

 

Generous, more like probably a not so bright idea haha. We always want to protect our family and friends from harm, we play with the idea of proper retribution...though often what we pay out is not equal to what they put in. What I did to Nick that day, while it felt right and every fiber of my being says I made the right call because maybe I saved someone else's life through it, was monstrous of me. It's hard to understand through a screen, and from a person you have never met. The sound of bone cracking, gasps for air, the visceral rush you feel when you know what you are doing to someone else...it's unreal. Your brain shuts down for abit, and it's all just a red haze. When you finally have control of yourself you see this mangled mass of person, you feel your hands throb and your shoulders hurt from it all and your heart breaks. To know what a few minutes of unbridled fury can do...I nearly killed someone at age 16, for an acceptable reason. I had an acceptable reason to do what I did and it still weighs heavy on me, because it's that ungodly power we all have to utterly stop an existence...makes me hate myself. With what I did in the Army, you think it would be alright. It never is. If anything it hit me harder, because I spent a chunk of my life with the small planet worth of self crisis on my shoulders. It's those moments you have to choose who you are, I didn't want to see the inside anywhere like that anymore. I became a Medic in some foolish redemption plot to myself...save lives to undo the pain I brought into the world. Though, you have to defend yourself when someone else means to kill you.

 

 

Hey Dandy, you can't get out of it that easy... I'm judging you.   When the shit hits the fan, you are exactly the person I want on my side. Did you have a lawyer when this happened? I think they tricked you into agreeing to be tried as an adult. If you were tried as a minor, I think you would have been in until you turned 18, released, and your record probably would have been sealed. I don't know for sure, but I believe they don't hold kids forever responsible for their crimes. If it was me... I wouldn't have wrecked the car... but that's just me.

 

Damn it, how did I know you would be judging me? Haha.  Though it is always good to be counted on, and better to be that guy that people look for when things go wrong. Always handy to be friends with the guy with the bat I suppose. I don't think I had a very good lawyer, he was from the DA's office of juvenile misconduct or so I was told. I was told that if I kept the more serious offense and went to trial, even as a minor I would have had to serve sentences in both the juvenile detention center and then been switched over to a federal prison anyway. So with the reduced charge I was told my sentence would be lessened as well as some other legal things. Maybe he wasn't very good, but mine was a priority case given my age and offense. As for the car, well, I think he would have preferred I switched to his car, rather than keep hitting him. Gotta appreciate the small things.

 

 

Dandy, that was an amazing story, thank you so much for sharing it. I find it atrocious that you got 3 years for that when convicted terrorists walk free after 10 in some places. If you're at fault for anything is not getting a good enough lawyer.   Unfortunately, most legal systems are either exclusively punitive or rehabilitative when in fact a tiered system would be best. Light offenders and people who had made a mistake, but are essentially good people should be given all support to better themselves and re-integrate into society as quickly and painlessly as possible. And then there are the genuine bad people like cold-blooded murderers, serial killers and terrorists who do not deserve a second chacne and the primary goal should be to eliminate them from society.

 

Well, to be honest if you had seen my handy-work, and not known the backstory, you might have been one of the ones saying I should have been put away for life. A basebat back does a bit of damage to the human body. Haha...anyway. The lawyer part had little to do with my family, even though my mother wanted to use the family attorney, due to the nature of the crime and my age I got some publicity and they wanted someone from the District Attorney's office handling it. I even ended up in the papers, if I can find the articles I'll post them up for you guys. Some of them painted me as an All-American boy who was defending his family from a jail bird, other's painted me as this awful terrible trouble child who should have been muzzled and used as a public example. It was my 15 minutes of fame. Though you never really get over people standing outside of the courthouse, holding up signs that you deserve the lethal injection. That kind of stuff hits you hard at age 16.

 

 

I don't know if i'm dreaming or not, but this morning when I posted you weren't a mil officer.. Did this post get you the job?!?!

 

Maybe Samus, just maybe.

 

 

To be honest, if I'd have read you post before FB asked for you to be masked I'd have asked you if you wanted to be masked. Not because we want people with records, but more that we want people who'll defend IRON and if you defend IRON with 1/4 of what you defended your sister with... that'd probably be about right. But if you do find a way to hit BONES with 16 nukes at the same time, I'm all ears.

 

 

I can see the CN forums now. "Did you hear? IRON now has an ex-con in their staff!" "Oh no! Now this means that IRON must be planning with DBDC to take over all of Planet Bob!" "Quickly! Everyone declare on IRON and DBDC to take out these evil/nazi alliances to protect the game for all the innocent people!"

 

Then the great DandyDoom war starts. When that happens, i want my own award for starting a war. Nothing flashy, just make it as big as Samus' signature block. The award for participating in the war is a badge with a bloody baseball bat on it. I am starting to like this idea more and more.

 

As for BONES, well I have an idea to hit him. Not something I am sure we should discuss in public, but I know some guys who are good with computers.

 

Disclosure: Dandy does not support criminal activity, the use of things for personal gains, or the harming of other nations "well deserved" technology levels. If this post is ever used against said individual in the matter pertaining to their's or others digitally transcribed levels of technology, let this be an official documentation of innocence, and it was probably done by those outside the game known as "Cybernations" of their own choice. Yep, you read that right. Nothing to see here, move along.

 

 

Yeah I don't think anyone here cares much if someone has a criminal history. IRON is a pretty diverse alliance, yet we all get along pretty great, even when we disagree.

 

Good to hear, now the question remains if you would leave me alone for more than five minutes in a room filled with things you own. That is the real test of trust.

 

The answer is no, I have no idea where that one thing on that self went. It was there a second ago, I'll help you look, just let me go to my car real quick. 

[Sister Midnight]

I thank all of you for your understanding words. Better than I deserve really. Still, no one should ever take a kind word or gesture lightly. 
 
 

Dandy, it was so generous of you to share that here.  Thank you!  I totally understand the desire to beat the living crap out of someone who hurts anyone I love.  When you're a kid there's little or no impulse control to help deal with something like this.  I'm sorry you went through all that, you seem like a very decent person despite everything you've been through.   I'm really touched by seeing so many people share their stories.  Samus, you should be proud that you've helped make an environment where people feel safe enough to share their experiences.   I haven't been to jail or prison and the thought of ever going is terrifying to me.  I'd willingly (albeit with a lot of anxiety) visit someone I care for in jail or prison, but I've been very lucky because I haven't ever been in that position.

 
Generous, more like probably a not so bright idea haha. We always want to protect our family and friends from harm, we play with the idea of proper retribution...though often what we pay out is not equal to what they put in. What I did to Nick that day, while it felt right and every fiber of my being says I made the right call because maybe I saved someone else's life through it, was monstrous of me. It's hard to understand through a screen, and from a person you have never met. The sound of bone cracking, gasps for air, the visceral rush you feel when you know what you are doing to someone else...it's unreal. Your brain shuts down for abit, and it's all just a red haze. When you finally have control of yourself you see this mangled mass of person, you feel your hands throb and your shoulders hurt from it all and your heart breaks. To know what a few minutes of unbridled fury can do...I nearly killed someone at age 16, for an acceptable reason. I had an acceptable reason to do what I did and it still weighs heavy on me, because it's that ungodly power we all have to utterly stop an existence...makes me hate myself. With what I did in the Army, you think it would be alright. It never is. If anything it hit me harder, because I spent a chunk of my life with the small planet worth of self crisis on my shoulders. It's those moments you have to choose who you are, I didn't want to see the inside anywhere like that anymore. I became a Medic in some foolish redemption plot to myself...save lives to undo the pain I brought into the world. Though, you have to defend yourself when someone else means to kill you

I have to be honest with you, Dandy, I really cannot imagine being in your position. But I can tell you that when I've seen someone hurt the people I love, I have wanted to rip their face off. The difference between you and me is that I never acted on the impulse. That doesn't make me a good person or bad person, it just makes less impulsive than you were on one occasion. You were in a situation where you lost control and acted with violence. I am not sitting in negative judgment on you as a person, but I think you made a poor choice, and I'm not going to try to justify it. Given who you were at the time it may have been the only choice available to you. You probably know beating up the scum of the earth will not necessarily prevent him from future violence, but how is a kid supposed to process what you saw? You paid a huge price for it. You do have to live with the memory of what you did, and I cannot imagine how painful that might be. You talk about atonement, but I think the atonement needs to come from you. The fact is that you need to find it in yourself to forgive that kid who lost control and did something you think is horrible.

You say you have run into people who think you're a monster, and other people who think you're a hero, I think you are just a guy who did something he regrets. We all have shame. We all have regrets. It isn't easy to share them and make yourself vulnerable and the way that you have. I think that shows a lot of character. I sincerely hope you find peace inside, I do not believe you deserve to suffer. It is fine if you find comfort in doing good in the world around you, I hope you can do some good for yourself and release yourself from the prison you have made for yourself.

I hope it shows that I am speaking from the heart, I don't mean to lecture or condescend.

[ccabal86]

Well, to be honest if you had seen my handy-work, and not known the backstory, you might have been one of the ones saying I should have been put away for life. A basebat back does a bit of damage to the human body. Haha...anyway. The lawyer part had little to do with my family, even though my mother wanted to use the family attorney, due to the nature of the crime and my age I got some publicity and they wanted someone from the District Attorney's office handling it. I even ended up in the papers, if I can find the articles I'll post them up for you guys. Some of them painted me as an All-American boy who was defending his family from a jail bird, other's painted me as this awful terrible trouble child who should have been muzzled and used as a public example. It was my 15 minutes of fame. Though you never really get over people standing outside of the courthouse, holding up signs that you deserve the lethal injection. That kind of stuff hits you hard at age 16.

But you see, this is why the backstory makes all the difference. The end result may be the same but it's a very different story when someone does it because they have nothing better to do on a Sunday night.

Edited by ccabal86, 07 April 2016 - 12:13 AM.

[MWilson]

I came close at one point, I was under the threat of indictment for a few months

[Dandy]

I have to be honest with you, Dandy, I really cannot imagine being in your position. But I can tell you that when I've seen someone hurt the people I love, I have wanted to rip their face off. The difference between you and me is that I never acted on the impulse. That doesn't make me a good person or bad person, it just makes less impulsive than you were on one occasion. You were in a situation where you lost control and acted with violence. I am not sitting in negative judgment on you as a person, but I think you made a poor choice, and I'm not going to try to justify it. Given who you were at the time it may have been the only choice available to you. You probably know beating up the scum of the earth will not necessarily prevent him from future violence, but how is a kid supposed to process what you saw? You paid a huge price for it. You do have to live with the memory of what you did, and I cannot imagine how painful that might be. You talk about atonement, but I think the atonement needs to come from you. The fact is that you need to find it in yourself to forgive that kid who lost control and did something you think is horrible. You say you have run into people who think you're a monster, and other people who think you're a hero, I think you are just a guy who did something he regrets. We all have shame. We all have regrets. It isn't easy to share them and make yourself vulnerable and the way that you have. I think that shows a lot of character. I sincerely hope you find peace inside, I do not believe you deserve to suffer. It is fine if you find comfort in doing good in the world around you, I hope you can do some good for yourself and release yourself from the prison you have made for yourself. I hope it shows that I am speaking from the heart, I don't mean to lecture or condescend.

 

That is by far one of the most human responses to this I have heard, I can understand why you are looked up to, and even celebrated a bit in the IRON forms. While I would love to respond with a wall of text of my own. I do not wish to make this the "Let's all talk about Dandy" Thread, even though I feel I did for a page. Haha.

 

 

But you see, this is why the backstory makes all the difference. The end result may be the same but it's a very different story when someone does it because they have nothing better to do on a Sunday night.

 

Very true, I suppose it is better to do such an act with a good reason in your heart, than no reason at all. You are one of those things called "Good people", allot of the IRONer's are. Makes me glad I decided to stick with joining this place again. 

[Fox Fire]

Imma go ahead and pretend I didn't hear or read that. I wouldn't dime you, but I will glare at you and take your dinner cookie if I end up back under Johhny's roof because of you. Haha.

 

Well technically it wasn't quite as illegal as it sounds.

Long story short, someone had an abusive husband that never let her leave the house. One day she asks me to help her "dispose" of her husbands new car (which is half hers thanks to marriage).... And we did. 

 

Good to hear, now the question remains if you would leave me alone for more than five minutes in a room filled with things you own. That is the real test of trust.   The answer is no, I have no idea where that one thing on that self went. It was there a second ago, I'll help you look, just let me go to my car real quick. 

 

lol. Actually, I'm pretty open about trusting people until they give me a reason not to. 

[hilowe]

Kind of you, but people will always look at me differently. Sometimes it annoys me when my friends bring up to people I don't know that I am an ex-con. Their trust goes away. Everyone thinks that you now have a short temper, you'll steal anything you can get your hands on, that all the sudden I could lose it again and go on a killing spree. It was a mistake I now carry with me for the rest of my life. Even after I explain the story, I am just another thug who belongs on a chain gang. Regardless of how I speak and carry myself, I'm just trash who doesn't belong on the "outside".

Like someone said above, context is everything. Yes, if someone tells me they are an ex-con, I'm going to take a good long look at them.

The fact that you explain it, and they still consider you to be "trash", that's their loss. I'd also be looking at my buddies, and telling them to shut the fuck up (and in probably a hell of a lot stronger language than that).