Jump to content

Welcome to IRON Forums Website
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

I have a real problem


  • Please log in to reply
43 replies to this topic

#21
theflash

theflash

    Freshly IRONed

  • NM⎪Inactive
  • 47 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:588352
  • Souls Baptized:0
  • Squadron:Foreign Diplomat

 

Big step up, and this is important, super important, listen up! Want to break the ol' shyness? Wanna be able to talk to cute girls without sweating bullets and buckling at the knees? Well pay attention because this will solve your problem once you have mastered it!

 

...no, it's not confidence.

 

Stop viewing every girl you talk to as a romantic conquest. You may be saying "Dandy? Romantic conquest? Don't you think that's a bit too heavy for such an innocent problem?" to which I reply "What are you doing in my house?". Kidding, the real issue is that when you talk to a girl, your thoughts immediately go to romance and you enter a kind of panic mode and your body and mind shut down in order to stop yourself from "blowing it" as the phrase goes.

 

"But Dandy," you reply, "Isn't that typical of males from puberty onwards?". Well yes kind reader, this is common. However when we start to separate ourselves from the auto response of a "conversation partner" of our preferred gender, our minds have the ability to function in a normal capacity because we no longer worry about our romantic future with whatever individual is giving us the "shyness" issue.

 

So, pro-tip from ol' Dandy. Not every girl you talk to will have an interest in you from the first moment you talk, and not every girl will ever have interest in you. To bring in the old phrase "Be yourself" is an understatement. Unless you are Channing Tatum, they want to know who they are getting in with. Heck they might not even have any kind of romantic feelings until they find out something about you. One of my ex's had no interest in me until she learned I was Army, things went down hill because of her kid but that is another story for another time.

Definitely a big problem for a lot of men is thinking that every woman who talks to them wants to jump their bones. Back in highschool, I weighed 350 pounds, and if a chick talked to me I would immediately think "This chick wants me", even though every synapse in my brain was saying "Nuh-huh". I think doing some circular breathing through the nose would help him bring down the terror during breaks in the conversation though. Really he should just see them as what they are, a human. 

 

Also, did you literally mean literally shit your pants? Or was that just a figurative literally.

 

P.S. Who is Channing Tatum?

 

Lol no it was figurative xD


3 nukes taken in the arse for IRON

#22
theflash

theflash

    Freshly IRONed

  • NM⎪Inactive
  • 47 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:588352
  • Souls Baptized:0
  • Squadron:Foreign Diplomat

 

yeah actually was thinking about this and it could turn into a thing where once he realises it isn't that deep, it wouldn't be a thing he needs to continue to do.

 

I think I actually did something similar years back

A lot of the times whenever I exercise i'll be watching... certain types of videos. I'll tell you this, I exercise more.

That sounds naughty


3 nukes taken in the arse for IRON

#23
Fox Fire

Fox Fire

    Vice-Chair of the Lobster Party

  • BR|Member
  • 3,767 posts
  • Discord Name:Fox Fire
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:527884
  • Souls Baptized:1,083,443
  • Squadron:Foxtrot

i got a major prob. Im shy as hell around girls. If im talking to a girl that is attractive, I literally shit my pants on the spot. I have no idea why. And im not my self. I try and act as if they are one of my bros. But it still doesnt work. plz give advice i don't want to be forever alone.  

Are you young? Stop thinking with your penis. :P

Usually when I get nervous around attractive people it's because I'm thinking of: "What can I do to impress them or attract/keep their interest?" But other times, depending on mood, I might just intentionally ignore them just to avoid going out of my comfort zone.

Here's a movie quote for you:

 

6nsQKjJ.jpg

 

(Yeah, I know Tom Cruise sucks)

Close expectations and don't think too much. Just calm yourself and flow with the atmosphere. Think softly. At the end of the day however, it's you that has to put words to action and overcome yourself.


Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#24
Icewolf

Icewolf

    Steadfast

  • NM⎪Inactive
  • 2,968 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:480480
  • Squadron:Foreign Diplomat

Do you have any hobbies? In particular any clubs you belong to that have both girls and boys? 


Icewolf has been baptized in fire and blood and has emerged as IRON-Bay102174 14th March 2013

Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#25
DarkFox

DarkFox

    Tempered IRON

  • Military - Foxtrot Officers
  • 1,998 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:215271
  • Souls Baptized:7
  • Squadron:Kilo

Hump the girl's leg. That way you establish dominance and everything will be a cake walk from there.


Posted Image

DarkFox, Since joining IRON you have been a great asset in our Military. You exemplify the IRON Values in support of IRON. Your hard work and dedication is not unnoticed.

DarkFox has been baptized in Fire and Blood and emerged as IRON!


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#26
Fox Fire

Fox Fire

    Vice-Chair of the Lobster Party

  • BR|Member
  • 3,767 posts
  • Discord Name:Fox Fire
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:527884
  • Souls Baptized:1,083,443
  • Squadron:Foxtrot

Hump the girl's leg. That way you establish dominance and everything will be a cake walk from there.

:nyan.001:


Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#27
iravenBG

iravenBG

    Freshly IRONed

  • NM⎪Inactive
  • 47 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:586468
  • Souls Baptized:84,820
  • Squadron:Delta
I kind of have your problem, I mean yea in my class we were 3 guys and 15 girls, but even now when I am close a cute girl i get kind of nervous and shy, what helps me most of the time is thinking of the girl as my best friend and talk to her without putting this BIG invisible barrier of "oh my god should I say this" I just talk with her if I have some information about her via Facebook or twitter(no i'm not a creeper) I kind of think what I should be talking about with her and if she is interested in this, the last time I saw a cute girl was when I met my cousin her classmates, on f them was really hot and I was nervous of how I should talk in fron of her and all her classmates and you know what I did? I started joking, yep joking, with them, with the people around us hell, even with myself, and we all laughed and had fun, but as I already said, never put that invisible barrier.

#28
Sister Midnight

Sister Midnight

    The IRON Maiden

  • IA|Award Panel
  • 4,868 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:592482
  • Souls Baptized:Plenty
  • Squadron:Delta

 

Think he's 15

sorry haven't been being notified about this post. I just turned 16 couple days ago. And thanks for the advice guys.


How old are you? Serious question, if you want some advice it will help to know what sort of social situations you are in. 

 

 

Do you get nervous talking to strangers in general?

 

A little bit, I think I might have social issues to be honest.

 

Flash, I'm going to respond to you in a fairly blunt and directive way, with a few techniques that will help you talk to people, including girls.  I hope that is okay with you.  There are exceptions to every rule and I hate using absolutes, so understand that I'm making a lot of generalizations, but they're good generalizations, IMHO.

 

Ok, first of all, at 16 your life is one unexpected or unwanted body change after another.  This is enough to make anyone a nervous wreck.  The same girls you played with 6 years ago have gone through their own version of unexpected or unwanted body changes, and they are often extremely uncomfortable with themselves.  They may look like goddesses, but  more often than not they don't know they've  suddenly gotten very hot and they almost certainly have no idea that you feel the way you do unless you show it.

 

Other people have said this and I'm going to say it again, do not assume she wants anything sexual from anyone right now. You might want something sexual, but put that stuff away for now.  Just because she's a good looking female ( or even an ugly female) that doesn't mean she's looking for someone who wants to swap spit with her.  A lot of guys want to jump anything in a dress, but girls just wants to be treated like a person.  There's a good chance she's afraid of boys and she probably doesn't know that guys are just as terrified of girls as she is of guys.  She might want a boyfriend, but she's going to be much more open to connecting that way if you approach her the way you approach people you aren't attracted to in the world.  Put aside your libido, don't look at her body, pretend she's really physically unattractive and try to get to know who she is.  This is easier said than done, but if you are able to forget that she's hot, you are more likely to be able to engage her in conversation, which is the only way you will ever connect with her.

 

As for being shy, I'll bet it looks like everyone is out-going and confident, while you're just squirming in the corner.  Some people are naturally out-going, but a lot of people fake it until they make it.  When I'm teaching social skills, I tell people that a friendly smile goes a long way.  You don't need to really be smiling to smile, go look in the mirror and fake a smile.  Looks fake, right?  Now fake the smile again, but bring your eyes into it, a real smile involves a little bit of a squint.  Try it.  Looks more real, even if you don't think it does.  Also, most people who don't know you well will have no idea when your smile is fake or real, so go ahead and fake it 'til you make it.

 

Conversation:  Spend a little time preparing with some generic topics for conversation.  You don't have to have a particular girl in mind to do this, and it will help you make friends no matter where you are.  You don't need to have brilliant things to say, just a few  topics that will fit most situations.  Asking people questions about themselves is a great way to get a conversation going. What do you have in common with the person you're talking to?  If you're in the same class ask how she likes that class, or the teacher, or wasn't that test hard or something along those lines.  If she's in a different class,  how does she like that class/teacher/etc?  What kind of music does she like?  You like the same stuff? YAY, talk about the music!  If you don't like the same stuff, ask what she likes about the stuff she likes.  In order for this to work, you have to show interest and focus on what she's saying, so nod and ask follow up questions.

 

Rejection:  you probably think you will be crushed if a girl isn't interested in you, but you are wrong.  You will survive.  The thing is, if someone you don't know rejects you, they aren't really rejecting you because they don't know you.  She may not be in the mood to talk with anyone she isn't close to, she may have had a fight with their parents and just want to sulk, maybe you remind her of her uncle Fred, who locked her in a closet when she was younger.  The point is, she doesn't really know who you are inside so if she is not interested in you, it is probably because of something going within her and has little or nothing to do with you. 

 

Ugh, I'm being really long winded and I'm talking to you the way I talk to people in their 20s, 30, 40s+.  I am sorry if I'm boring you, but think about what I'm saying and try to pick out anything that you think applies to you.  Also, I'm saying this because I don't know you and I don't know what you need at all, but if you are truly paralyzed in social situations talking to a therapist can do a lot to help.  I don't think you need a therapist.  I'm just saying that is an option.


NPaBaXt.jpg

( @ )( @ ) The official salute from women in the great, nudist nation of Secor. I'm naked and very excited to be here.

62-AwardImgMaster-1359832011.gif
The Supercalifragalisticexpealadocious Award

"This award was custom made for a special person. Its gleam reflects the endearment of the people that she leads. Awarded to the IRON Maiden, Sister Midnight."

[center]~~A partner in Blade's crimes~~[center]Nukes taken for IRON since restarting on 6/10/2016: I stopped counting after 69.

Sister Midnight has been Baptized in Fire and Blood and emerged as IRON!

The people of Antropomorphica join their leaders in welcoming the discovery of this previously unknown colony of Secor in the wilds of South America. They organised an airdrop of money and soldiers to protect this fledgling state as it undergoes construction (I mean... 1k infra at day 1 guys... come on!).

(@)#(@)
_ # _
_ # _
_ # _
8========D ~~

from our leaders to yours.


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#29
Samus

Samus

    The Convict

  • Samus Mask
  • 14,582 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:254470
  • My Aid Data:254470
  • Souls Baptized:2,311,441
  • Squadron:Kilo

Listen to mum!^



254470-ng.png

samus1.png
Root Admin
Ex-Kilo CO, Ex-Bounty Director, Ex-Mentor, Ex-Admissions Admin Ex-Deputy Headmaster of Academy, Ex-Recruitment Staff, Ex-SWAG Personell, Ex-Academy Staff, Ex-Trade Post Director, Ex-Deputy Trade Post Director, Ex- Foxtrot Master Sergeant, Ex-Award Panel Deputy Director, Ex-Award Panel Staff, Ex-Trade Post Staff, Ex- Delta Executive Officer, Ex-Express Delivery

00:48 Fernando[IRON] � I will refer to you as Supreme Overlord Guru Samus

Only I have the baptismal power.

Samus because of your dedicated service to IRON; your high casualty count and aid given your fellow IRONers. I hear by baptize ye in Fire and blood. You rise as IRON!

You may now wear proudly in your Sig "I have been Baptized in Fire and Blood and emerged as IRON."

18:28 %FinsterBaby[IRON] • I'm only afraid of Master Samus.
18:28 %FinsterBaby[IRON] • All powerful root admin
18:29 @onbekende • wussie
18:29 %FinsterBaby[IRON] • he can make you disappear. I've seen it

 

MVP(Mod’s Choice)= Master Samus; I think Master Samus played amazingly for a guy who claims it was his second only mafia game. He never led the town on him and that’s why he deserves this award. He was impressive in manipulating the town that led to the ultimate mafia victory.
 
Player of Mafia; Master Samus/emudevelopment (shared); I think both were instrumental in the town’s defeat. Both were manipulative and deceptive. They clearly came out as pro-town and looked like de-facto town leaders. They led the lynch wagon w/o anyone uncovering their true motives.

Samus, you should be proud that you've helped make an environment where people feel safe enough to share their experiences.


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#30
Sister Midnight

Sister Midnight

    The IRON Maiden

  • IA|Award Panel
  • 4,868 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:592482
  • Souls Baptized:Plenty
  • Squadron:Delta

Mum? MUM???  MUM???!!!

 

WTF!  Pops!  I'm a freaking spring chicken with perky... oh forget it.  Samus I fart in your general direction.


NPaBaXt.jpg

( @ )( @ ) The official salute from women in the great, nudist nation of Secor. I'm naked and very excited to be here.

62-AwardImgMaster-1359832011.gif
The Supercalifragalisticexpealadocious Award

"This award was custom made for a special person. Its gleam reflects the endearment of the people that she leads. Awarded to the IRON Maiden, Sister Midnight."

[center]~~A partner in Blade's crimes~~[center]Nukes taken for IRON since restarting on 6/10/2016: I stopped counting after 69.

Sister Midnight has been Baptized in Fire and Blood and emerged as IRON!

The people of Antropomorphica join their leaders in welcoming the discovery of this previously unknown colony of Secor in the wilds of South America. They organised an airdrop of money and soldiers to protect this fledgling state as it undergoes construction (I mean... 1k infra at day 1 guys... come on!).

(@)#(@)
_ # _
_ # _
_ # _
8========D ~~

from our leaders to yours.


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#31
bay102174

bay102174

    Presidium-2nd President

  • BR|Member
  • 1,214 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:035129
  • Souls Baptized:3,062,740
  • Squadron:Kilo
They are perfectly perky. I have seen them.

I bask in all your alls jeliousy.

_____________________________________

Edit:

OP:
Confidence. Relax. Treat her like a lady. Be intested in her above the neck. Its ok to be attracted to her and its normal.
For yourself, improve your self. work out. Get a interesting hobbie. Become well spoken. Take care of yourself. Seek out social situations and try them. Your skills will improve.

Posted Image
In Hoc Signo Vinces

I am the Sorcerer of death's construction. I've drunk more beer, banged more quiff, pissed more blood, and stomped more ass than all of you put together. Never shall innocent blood be shed, yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. IRON shall spread her Orange wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of Admin. When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh, IRON, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy Warriors. I'm hunger. I'm thirst. Where I bite, I hold till I die, and even after death they must cut out my mouthful from my enemy's body and bury it with me. I can fast a hundred years and not die. I can lie a hundred nights on the ice and not freeze. I can drink a river of blood and not burst. Show me IRON's enemies! We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry. We do not want your tired and sick. It is your corrupt we claim. It is your evil that will be sought by us. With every breath we shall hunt them down. Each day, we will spill their blood till it rains down from the skies. Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal, these are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost. There are varying degrees of evil, we urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over, into true corruption, into our domain. For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see IRON. And on that day, you will reap it. And IRON will send you to whatever admin you wish. And shepherds we shall be. Power hath descended forth from IRON's hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out her command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.

In Nomen Ferrarius, Bay, Quod Sanctus Admin

Incendia quod Cruento

2nd President of IRON

Minister of Tables



Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

ihateaaron: Can't we just clone bay?

James: No, the world would end if they turned on each other.

Sister Midnight: I think I just had a Baygasum

Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#32
Robert2424

Robert2424

    Steadfast

  • Military - Alpha Officers
  • 4,917 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:538459
  • Souls Baptized:1,033,785
  • Squadron:Foreign Diplomat
And there is bay.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

(Doom War Damage Rank) 35: Robert2424 - 21 - 67,720.61 - 28,156.05 - 96,651.47

Posted Image

Robert2424 has been Baptized in Fire and Blood and Emerged as IRON!


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#33
Wolfpacks

Wolfpacks

    Steadfast

  • Military - Alpha Officers
  • 4,939 posts
  • Discord Name:Wolfpacks
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:492737
  • Souls Baptized:Too many
  • Squadron:Delta
All good advice I think, look just be yourself, the is one thing they hate more then anything else thats BS, don't pretend to be something your not, never show off, they dislike that too, your not the greatest thing since sliced bread, if I've learned 1 thing in my 49 years, respect them, they respond to that

For continued dedication and tenacity, as a warrior and as military officer. Wolfpacks has been fighting both in this war and the last with complete abandon, he has also been pounding the pavement as Commanding Officer making sure every enemy has been covered.Without members like you IRON would be less of an alliance. Well done.
Wolfpacks has been Baptized in Fire and Blood and Emerged as IRON!

The Bloodthirsty Wolfpack of IRON
Wise Wolfpack of IRON
Veteran of many Wars of many years
NAAC Will Never Be Forgotten
EX-CO of Alpha Squad
Ex-CO of Echo Squad
Ex Academy Headmaster
Ero Sum Ideo Vici


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#34
Sister Midnight

Sister Midnight

    The IRON Maiden

  • IA|Award Panel
  • 4,868 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:592482
  • Souls Baptized:Plenty
  • Squadron:Delta

And there is bay.

OMG!  Bay!  Does my hair look okay?  *adjusts blouse to show the best cleavage* ( @ )( @ )


All good advice I think, look just be yourself, the is one thing they hate more then anything else thats BS, don't pretend to be something your not, never show off, they dislike that too, your not the greatest thing since sliced bread, if I've learned 1 thing in my 49 years, respect them, they respond to that

You're 49?  Cool.  I think a man reaches his peak when he hits 50.  You seem to know a lot about women.  I like that in a man. 


NPaBaXt.jpg

( @ )( @ ) The official salute from women in the great, nudist nation of Secor. I'm naked and very excited to be here.

62-AwardImgMaster-1359832011.gif
The Supercalifragalisticexpealadocious Award

"This award was custom made for a special person. Its gleam reflects the endearment of the people that she leads. Awarded to the IRON Maiden, Sister Midnight."

[center]~~A partner in Blade's crimes~~[center]Nukes taken for IRON since restarting on 6/10/2016: I stopped counting after 69.

Sister Midnight has been Baptized in Fire and Blood and emerged as IRON!

The people of Antropomorphica join their leaders in welcoming the discovery of this previously unknown colony of Secor in the wilds of South America. They organised an airdrop of money and soldiers to protect this fledgling state as it undergoes construction (I mean... 1k infra at day 1 guys... come on!).

(@)#(@)
_ # _
_ # _
_ # _
8========D ~~

from our leaders to yours.


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#35
Wolfpacks

Wolfpacks

    Steadfast

  • Military - Alpha Officers
  • 4,939 posts
  • Discord Name:Wolfpacks
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:492737
  • Souls Baptized:Too many
  • Squadron:Delta
Although some react totally different

For continued dedication and tenacity, as a warrior and as military officer. Wolfpacks has been fighting both in this war and the last with complete abandon, he has also been pounding the pavement as Commanding Officer making sure every enemy has been covered.Without members like you IRON would be less of an alliance. Well done.
Wolfpacks has been Baptized in Fire and Blood and Emerged as IRON!

The Bloodthirsty Wolfpack of IRON
Wise Wolfpack of IRON
Veteran of many Wars of many years
NAAC Will Never Be Forgotten
EX-CO of Alpha Squad
Ex-CO of Echo Squad
Ex Academy Headmaster
Ero Sum Ideo Vici


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#36
Sister Midnight

Sister Midnight

    The IRON Maiden

  • IA|Award Panel
  • 4,868 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:592482
  • Souls Baptized:Plenty
  • Squadron:Delta

Although some react totally different

The important thing is that you know how to adjust to the individual.  Are you a quick adjuster?

 

 

*hangs head in shame for hijacking the thread*


NPaBaXt.jpg

( @ )( @ ) The official salute from women in the great, nudist nation of Secor. I'm naked and very excited to be here.

62-AwardImgMaster-1359832011.gif
The Supercalifragalisticexpealadocious Award

"This award was custom made for a special person. Its gleam reflects the endearment of the people that she leads. Awarded to the IRON Maiden, Sister Midnight."

[center]~~A partner in Blade's crimes~~[center]Nukes taken for IRON since restarting on 6/10/2016: I stopped counting after 69.

Sister Midnight has been Baptized in Fire and Blood and emerged as IRON!

The people of Antropomorphica join their leaders in welcoming the discovery of this previously unknown colony of Secor in the wilds of South America. They organised an airdrop of money and soldiers to protect this fledgling state as it undergoes construction (I mean... 1k infra at day 1 guys... come on!).

(@)#(@)
_ # _
_ # _
_ # _
8========D ~~

from our leaders to yours.


Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#37
Blade 619

Blade 619

    Master of Nukes

  • Minister of Defence
  • 7,184 posts
  • Discord Name:Blade
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:040973
  • Souls Baptized:7,122,755
  • Squadron:Kilo

Think he's 15

sorry haven't been being notified about this post. I just turned 16 couple days ago. And thanks for the advice guys.

How old are you? Serious question, if you want some advice it will help to know what sort of social situations you are in. 
 
 
Do you get nervous talking to strangers in general?

 
A little bit, I think I might have social issues to be honest.

Flash, I'm going to respond to you in a fairly blunt and directive way, with a few techniques that will help you talk to people, including girls.  I hope that is okay with you.  There are exceptions to every rule and I hate using absolutes, so understand that I'm making a lot of generalizations, but they're good generalizations, IMHO.
 
Ok, first of all, at 16 your life is one unexpected or unwanted body change after another.  This is enough to make anyone a nervous wreck.  The same girls you played with 6 years ago have gone through their own version of unexpected or unwanted body changes, and they are often extremely uncomfortable with themselves.  They may look like goddesses, but  more often than not they don't know they've  suddenly gotten very hot and they almost certainly have no idea that you feel the way you do unless you show it.
 
Other people have said this and I'm going to say it again, do not assume she wants anything sexual from anyone right now. You might want something sexual, but put that stuff away for now.  Just because she's a good looking female ( or even an ugly female) that doesn't mean she's looking for someone who wants to swap spit with her.  A lot of guys want to jump anything in a dress, but girls just wants to be treated like a person.  There's a good chance she's afraid of boys and she probably doesn't know that guys are just as terrified of girls as she is of guys.  She might want a boyfriend, but she's going to be much more open to connecting that way if you approach her the way you approach people you aren't attracted to in the world.  Put aside your libido, don't look at her body, pretend she's really physically unattractive and try to get to know who she is.  This is easier said than done, but if you are able to forget that she's hot, you are more likely to be able to engage her in conversation, which is the only way you will ever connect with her.
 
As for being shy, I'll bet it looks like everyone is out-going and confident, while you're just squirming in the corner.  Some people are naturally out-going, but a lot of people fake it until they make it.  When I'm teaching social skills, I tell people that a friendly smile goes a long way.  You don't need to really be smiling to smile, go look in the mirror and fake a smile.  Looks fake, right?  Now fake the smile again, but bring your eyes into it, a real smile involves a little bit of a squint.  Try it.  Looks more real, even if you don't think it does.  Also, most people who don't know you well will have no idea when your smile is fake or real, so go ahead and fake it 'til you make it.
 
Conversation:  Spend a little time preparing with some generic topics for conversation.  You don't have to have a particular girl in mind to do this, and it will help you make friends no matter where you are.  You don't need to have brilliant things to say, just a few  topics that will fit most situations.  Asking people questions about themselves is a great way to get a conversation going. What do you have in common with the person you're talking to?  If you're in the same class ask how she likes that class, or the teacher, or wasn't that test hard or something along those lines.  If she's in a different class,  how does she like that class/teacher/etc?  What kind of music does she like?  You like the same stuff? YAY, talk about the music!  If you don't like the same stuff, ask what she likes about the stuff she likes.  In order for this to work, you have to show interest and focus on what she's saying, so nod and ask follow up questions.
 
Rejection:  you probably think you will be crushed if a girl isn't interested in you, but you are wrong.  You will survive.  The thing is, if someone you don't know rejects you, they aren't really rejecting you because they don't know you.  She may not be in the mood to talk with anyone she isn't close to, she may have had a fight with their parents and just want to sulk, maybe you remind her of her uncle Fred, who locked her in a closet when she was younger.  The point is, she doesn't really know who you are inside so if she is not interested in you, it is probably because of something going within her and has little or nothing to do with you. 
 
Ugh, I'm being really long winded and I'm talking to you the way I talk to people in their 20s, 30, 40s+.  I am sorry if I'm boring you, but think about what I'm saying and try to pick out anything that you think applies to you.  Also, I'm saying this because I don't know you and I don't know what you need at all, but if you are truly paralyzed in social situations talking to a therapist can do a lot to help.  I don't think you need a therapist.  I'm just saying that is an option.

Only thing I would say is about 50-60% of teenagers I've met would benefit from some kind of therapy... on average they're too sensitive and need to learn how to let things go.

But the above is very sound advice, and for the love of sanity don't become obsessed / infatuated / stalkery or whatever you want to call it with them... the grand gestures of Hollywood are unlikely to go down well in the real world.

40973-detailed.png

 

* * * * *

Gratia Domini nostri Iesu Christi cum omnibus vobis.

 

* * * * *

Blade 619 you have been baptized in Fire and Blood and emerged as IRON!

 

* * * * *

 

 

  I will remember this, Blade, and I will be forever grateful... oh hell words fail me!  ( @ )( @ )

 

 

* * * * *

Revenge is best served cold, tasting of vanilla yoghurt with vanilla and chocolate balls.

 

 

 

Leave it to Blade to step in and say the most completely true post in this thread. You make my day Sir.  

Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#38
Finster Baby

Finster Baby

    Former President

  • Military - Kilo Officers
  • 4,668 posts
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:503943
  • Souls Baptized:2,946,004
  • Squadron:Kilo
I'm 46, and happily married for 8 years, been with her for 22 years. I can't add anything that anyone else has said, other than to agree with it.

I never rated a SM boob shot. ;)

Bay I'm jealous. Also, props to SM for farting in Samoose's general direction. He needs the abuse. :smug:
Finster Baby
Acme States
Proud to be the 5th IRON President.
Happily Retired. Here we go again...

Commander, Kilo Squadron

Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#39
MsShawdi

MsShawdi

    Baptized

  • NM⎪Inactive
  • 761 posts
  • Discord Name:MsShawdi
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:588453
  • Squadron:Alpha
Ok, I posted a while back on here, and I am happy to report that the 15 year old (husbands cousin) that I pestered the crap out of... He's got his FIRST Girlfriend! They've been dating for about 2 weeks!


I wonder if it would help OP with his shyness to just talk to the females in the alliance. Just general information, like someone else stated, just asking about music preferences, game preferences, if they have any animals & what kind/how many.. Just general stuff. I think it may help, but I have really no idea, OP is the only one that would know what might help. Good luck though.

Oh and I really see no problem with people having friends of all different ages, because those that are still really young and can find friends that are older could benefit from learning from us older peoples mistakes.

Awards Bar:

Users Awards

#40
GAY HOMO

GAY HOMO

    Freshly IRONed

  • Dishonoured - Banned
  • 7 posts
  • Discord Name:GAY HOMO
  • Resources:
  • Nation ID:591983
  • Souls Baptized:6969696969
  • Squadron:Foreign Diplomat

BRO U JUST GOTTA CHECK ALL THAT SHIT AT THE DOOR. THE WORST THING THAT WILL HAPPEN IS THIS SKANK WILL NOT REALLLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU. DON'T PUT THESE HOES ON A PESDISTAL. NOW IM A FAGGOT BUT THIS ADVICE STILL WORKS --REALLY WHAT IS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? DON'T B AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES AND BE VULNERABLE THATS HOW U GROW. MAN I LOVE PENIS. ANYWAY BRO WHAT COULD HELP YOU ALSO IS THE RED PILL ON REDDIT AND WORKIN OUT TO GET U SOME CONFIDENCE






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users