False, not in at least 20 years

 

TNP knows how to handle a chainsaw

true

 

TNP is left handed

False

 

TNP has played CN for 5+ years

False

 

TNP has been mindlessly drunk at least once in the last month

Very True

 

TNP works 3 jobs

False

 

TNP is owns the property (s)he lives in

True

 

TNP prefers Apple over Microsoft

False

 

TNP prefers iOS over Android

False

 

Linux>android>ios>win any platform

 

TNP considers himself/herself a geek

True, to a degree

 

TNP has had at least 1 wisdom tooth removed

True

 

TNP has never climbed a mountain higher than 2000m/6500ft

True

 

TNP has been on a sailboat

True

 

TNP has been in a car crash

True

 

TNP has a landline at home

False

 

TNP got drunk last night 

False

 

TNP used to go online with a 56k modem

True

 

TNP has been/ is in the military

False

 

TNP has never consumed substances that are illegal.

False, ehrm, I mean true your honour

 

TNP is not a millenial

False

 

TNP has an iPad

False

 

TNP has never drunk moonshine or his/her regional equivalent

False

 

TNP has been to West Virginia

False

 

TNP does not speak English natively

True

 

TNP wears glasses

True

 

TNP middle name is Jared