This is simple: 1st person makes a wish, next person grants but corrupts the wish, then makes a new wish.

 

Example:

 

1st person - I wish I had 1 million dollars

 

Next person - Granted, but the stock market crashes and makes your money worthless.

 

[New Wish]

 

 

I'll start.

 

I wish I had a brand new car.

granted but its a stuffed fake elk

 

I wish the weather around here wasn't so weird

Granted, but it shall now be -60 F all day, every day

 

I wish ESPN would fire Ron Jawarski as a sports commentator on MNF

granted but it makes you fart

 

The list of things that don't give me gas:

Salt

Deionized water

 

That is all.

 

Granted but the clone Madden and bring him on.

 

I wish I had a chainsaw that shot fire from it.

Granted, but on first use you catch fire and are horribly disfigured for life

 

I wish I had f-u money

Granted, but all the f-u money in the world won't buy you love.

 

I wish I had a pbj sammich.

granted but it has poo on it

 

i wish for a glass of water

granted one glass of dirty salt water

 

I wish my class wasn't going over stuff I've known for years

granted, but you fail anyway

 

I wish I had a better view out of my office window

granted you get the best view out of everyone in your company making everyone else jealous including your boss who is now being a complete a#$

 

I wish my teacher didn't have the ability to talk about one thing for an hour when it should only take about 5 minutes

granted but in 5 mins your teacher can make you bored for a lifetime

 

i wish for food

granted, but its rotten

 

I wish that hottie pictured in SH's background were my secretary

granted but she is a b1tch and doesn't do any work, nor does she take any interest in you

 

I wish for everything in the world

granted, but nuclear holocaust hits 30 seconds after the wish is granted

 

I wish I had a new car

granted but it's a P.O.S. chevy

 

i wish for a hot babe

Granted, but she's a trap.

 

I wish for a clam.

granted, but its loaded with mercury

 

I wish for affordable health insurance

granted but it only covers you when you are expected to live less than a week

 

I wish I didn't have this cold

granted but you now have a sore back

 

i wish for pizza

Granted but it has no toppings you like.

 

I wish I hadn't invited my buddies girlfriend up to my room for drinks tonight.

granted you went to her room for drinks instead

 

I wish my headphones weren't dying

granted, they are now dead

 

i wish for the perfect woman

granted but she hates you

 

I wish the geek squad people weren't complete idiots who thought they were smart

granted but you now know nothing about computers

 

i wish for all music to be good

Granted, it's made into one song and it's playing over and over in your brain.

 

I wish for some pocket change to buy good songs.

granted, but you can only afford bad music no one likes anyway

 

i wish the bruise on my hand would heal before tomorrow