and defeats Chuck Norris as always

because Chuck Norris is not blessed

with the great and powerful FISTHAMMER of

THOR 

Gawd of rainbows

master of pixie farts!

and then he strikes 

with the deadly grace of a Southern Norwegian Pigmy Goat

and then he 

loses because he is not blessed

with the force

because there is an awakening

of the dark side

which consists of bakers wielding cupcakes

And cookies

The dark bakers armed their scone turrets

and masked men armed both 

of their Batman clones

and stormtrooper gear 

drunk in tequila

They battled long

and hard till 

They achieved Nirvana.

Then something came out

Excuse me. I just farted.