Granted but now you can't walk.

I wish I could time travel.

Your wish has been granted; your now in the paleolithic age.

 

I wish I was a successful porn star, lol

Granted... but your sperm was so potent every female on set got pregnant. Now child support payments are astronomical.

I wish I could buy 1000 shares of Amazon at year 2000 prices.

Granted, but because you bought so many shares, they never kicked off. 

 

I wish I could be famous 

Granted... you set the record of kills by a serial killer.

I wish I could dunk a basketball.

Granted, but now you are an elephant

 

I wish I had 1 million dollars

Granted... but it is CSA currency.

I wish I could surf.

Granted, but you are now a surfboard

 

I wish I was tall

Grant...everyone else is 3 feet tall or shorter.

I wish i could fly a Spitfire.

Granted, but you are teleported back into World War II

 

I wish I could SAFELY land on the moon

Granted... but you can't safely return.

I wish I could find a Viking hoard of gold.

Granted, but you are now cursed and turn into a dragon

 

I wish I could read people's minds

Granted, but now you can't concentrate nor hear your own thoughts. Your brain explodes

 

I wish being fit was easy

Granted, but now the government experiments because you can't get out of shape

 

I wish I was rich 

Granted, but now you are robbed/cybertheif'd every day

 

I wish my house would clean itself

Granted, but you now live in a roomba

 

I wish I could change the world  

Granted. You know receive 3.5 billion prayers per day

 

I wish friends were easy to make

Granted, you are now an NPC in a popular game

 

I wish I could talk to animals 

Granted. You are now SCP-8009 locked away in the vaults of the SCP Foundation

 

I wish I had a key that unlocked any door

Granted, but the key is to break down every single door now

 

I wish I could become president 

Granted. You are now HATED by 50% of people.

 

I wish Earth could be more like the Star Trek United Federation of Planets

Granted. Unfortunately this genie does not know enough about Star Trek, so now Earth is hated throughout the galaxy

 

I wish I had access to the big planet destroying machine Darth Vader had

Granted. Immediately after it has finished assembly, it gets blown up and you get thrown into the depths of space.

 

I wish the Previous poster had more knowledge about Star Trek... /shade

Granted, but he misinterpreted as Star WARS and is now an expert in the franchise

 

I wish the previous person had no idea what Star Trek is

Granted. Although, it is interpreted that Star Trek only referred to the most recent movies and not the entire franchise.

 

I wish that everyone knew the difference between Science Fiction and Science Fantasy