Granted, it’s demolished along with the rest of the earth in order to facilitate an intergalactic highway construction project for a hyperspace express route.

 

I wish I won at the lottery

Granted. It is paid out with box tops.

 

I wish there were more hours in the day.

granted but then you just have to work more

 

I wish I could spend more time in Montana 

Granted. There's a small town in Canada called Jasper, it's like a 5 hour drive from Calgary. They have a restaurant called Montana's, I'm sure you'll love it there. 

 

I wish for this wish never to be wished

Granted

 

I wish I could spend more time in Montana

Granted This is Jane Montana. I’m sure the missus will be understanding..

 

I wish Trump hadn’t been elected

Granted, he becomes your boss instead.

 

I wish I could swim.

Granted, you can swim, but only in molten lava.

 

I wish I was rich

Granted , you're rich in flatulence.

 

I wish Samus would play call of duty with me.

Granted, but Samus pwns you 500-0 and fucked your mom like the rest of the 14 year olds on CoD.

 

 

 

I wish I could chuck as much wood as Chuck Norris.

granted but then chuck noris gets jealous and chucks u thru a wood chopper and u die

 

 

i wish that i could resign from iron in peace and not be forced to not quit by rhizo

Granted, but not now, and you can't take your soul with you when you leave.

 

I wish I had more muscle mass.

Granted but you also have 500x more fat mass 

 

I wish subway was free

Granted, but the number of homeless people around it increases by 100 fold.

 

I wish I was done with school.

granted you get expelled

 

I wish i wasnt tired

Granted, you're a manic now.

 

I wish I could take life more seriously.

 

 

Granted, you're a manic now.

 

so nothing has changed lol

 

Granted, but you die right away

 

I wish i didnt have shit on my shoe 

Granted, but now you can't poop.

 

I wish I had 1 million bucks

Granted, you now have a heard of 1 million male deer who all have mad cow's diseases 

Brewersalliance killed this thread with no wish.I'm going to revive it with a wish.

I wish never having to drive in Atlanta at rush hour.

Your wish has been granted; you shall not drive during rush hour times in Atlanta but will now drive through New York City during rush hour.

 

I wish that I had a better paying job

Granted, you are now a drug lord who is the FBI number 1 wanted criminal

 

I wish I could grow any plant 

Granted but your large Venus Fly Trap ate you.

I wish I could exceed the speed of light.

Your wish has been granted, but you broke the space-time continuum and now we have to start all over...thanks

 

I wish I could speak any language fluently 

Granted but now you can't hear.

I wish I could play guitar.

Granted, you are now a guitar pick

I wish I could fly