granted, but nadarr is so addicted to sucking the butter out of your nipples that she sucks them right off

 

I wish my water was cold

Granted it is dry ice.

 

I wish drinking was a cheap habit.

granted, driinking water is cheap

 

I wish i didnt have to pee 

Granted your bladder explodes and you no longer need to pee

 

I wish I didn't have to take tests for work.

Granted, they fire you instead

 

I wish I founded amazon

Granted, but it fails horribly under your toutelage.

 

I wish I had food.

granted but its expired and covered in mold

 

I wish Beer was healthy, still tastes good, cheap, in infinite supply  and I could drink it as often as I wanted with no consequences 

Granted, but you don't have taste buds and can no longer enjoy its deliciousness.

 

I wish brewers wouldn't try so hard just to fail.

Granted, I succeed at everything cause I am awesome as fuck and you fail

 

I wish someone would mail admin gorilla shit

Granted, but admin would ban you as a result

 

I wish I wasn't sitting in this dealership waiting

granted, you are in my dealership instead, getting bent over by me

 

I wish it was chirstmas

Granted, but Christmas is just another regular day.

 

I wish I had more time to read all the books I got for Christmas.

Granted, but the books become audiobooks and you can only listen to them. 

 

I wish it wasn't so windy outside. 

granted, instead there is a volcanic eruption

 

I wish I didnt have to go back to work

Granted. You are indefinitely homeless.

 

I wish dogs didn't need so much attention.

Not granted. Dogs are the best

 

I wish I could nap

Not granted. You will never sleep again and will be exhausted until you die.

 

I wish breakfast made itself.

Granted. But Cory eats you for breakfast so you die

 

I wish I knew how to salsa dance

Granted, but it's just you dancing like an idiot while making salsa.

 

I wish I didn't know Brewers had fuck his sister.

granted because i never fucked my sister

 

I wish LS would delete that sig

Granted, he also quits IRON.

 

I wish I drank more water.

granted but it is full of harmful bacteria

 

i wish I could leave work early today

Granted, it is because you got fired.

 

I wish there was more to do at work.

granted, you get swamped with so much shit to do you never see Cory and eventually he dumps you over it

 

I wish I was good at skiing 

If only it worked that way. I haven't really seen him since Atlas came out.

 

Granted, but you make a small mistake and break your neck causing you to become a quadriplegic.

 

I wish Atlas didn't exist.