granted but its grounded with ugly topless tourists that wont stop bothering you

 

I wish it would snow

granted but it only lasts for 2 minutes

 

i wish for everything

granted but unfortunately everything comes with many terminal diseases and you only get to have everything for about two minutes before you die

 

I wish the threat level was lower so I could make my infa jump without worrying about my warchest becoming to small

granted. but the next time you pay your bills, the event that comes up will ZI you if you don't respond, Bankrupt you if you choose option 1, or a ghost will crawl up your shower drain and rape your dog in your sleep if you choose option 2.

 

 

i wish that the number 6 wasn't afraid of 7...

granted but it's now afraid of the number 1

 

i wish for a 2nd monitor

granted its a 4 inch CRT monitor

 

I wish I didn't have to deal with my cousin this weekend

granted but you have to deal with all the rest of your family.

 

I wish I could take a vacation.

granted. but you're going to contract a deadly disease on the second day, and there isn't a cure...

 

 

 

i wish bandaids didn't hinder your ability to type.

No more bandaids! oh, no more fingers.

 

I wish there were 6 more hours in a day.

granted, but you'll spend those six hours licking ABC gum off the bottom of desks.

 

 

i wish up didn't go so far... up.

Granted you now walk on your hands so up is now only about two feet.

 

I wish the Columbus Bluejackets could win the Stanley cup.

Granted, but it is taken back when every player is caught using steroids.

 

I wish Thanksgiving break lasted longer.

granted but you get no christmas break

 

i wish for a page of blank paper

Granted but you have nothing to write with.

 

I wish thanksgiving came twice a year.

granted but you are found to have a strange digestive problem that doesn't allow you to have most of the food served at thanksgiving

 

I wish I didn't have so many papers to write

granted, but now you are unable to write or comprehend the written word in any manner and are thus relegated to a life of cleaning outhouses in the Appalachians for food scraps to survive.

 

I wish I was on paid vacation for the rest of the year.

granted, but now you are unable to write or comprehend the written word in any manner and are thus relegated to a life of cleaning outhouses in the Appalachians for food scraps to survive.

 

I wish I was on paid vacation for the rest of the year.

 

Granted,but its only 1 dollar per month.

 

I wish I was Master Chief.

granted, but as soon as the chevrons are pinned on, the boat sinks.

 

I wish I had more beer.

granted but its warm and full of maggots...

 

i wish the guy above me had ice cold fresh beer.

Granted he has a ice cold fresh beer..... but it's still full of maggots

 

I wish it would snow 6 feet deep today

granted, but your now stranded in your house, your heat fails and the only thing you have to eat or drink is ice cold beer with maggots in it.

 

I wish I was in Deutschland right now.

Granted but you are allergic to sausages, sauerkraut , pastries , beer and german women.

 

I wish to be omnipotent .

Granted, but everything you do turns to ****.

 

I wish my calzone would get here faster than another fifteen minutes.

granted but it shows up half eaten and cold

 

I wish I had a good book to read

granted but it's a girly book

 

i wish for all the gold in the world