Granted. It is something called "Learn Advanced English with Jackie Chan"

 

I wish my vacations started tomorrow

Granted, but you get hit by a bus and go into a coma for the length of your vacation

 

I wish I could be ready to move back now.

granted but your place is not ready for you

 

I wish I ruled the world

Granted, but there is only you in the whole world.

 

I wish i had a better car.

granted but it breaks down

 

I wish I could tell if people were lying to me

granted but could never lie again

 

I wish for something to watch on TV

granted but its bad

 

I wish for a coin

Granted, but someone steals it.

 

I wish i had a speed boat with supermodels waiting for me on it.

granted but the supermodels were from the 1940s

 

I wish for a gulf stream jet

Granted, but no pilot in the world wants to flight it.

 

I wish i there was something good on tv now.

granted but the power goes out

(you copyed my wish)

I wish for a pet cat

granted its a lion that mauls you death

 

I wish for a robot servant

Granted, but it allways miss-inturprets your requests.

 

I wish more free texts!

granted but you can no longer call ppl

 

I wish for a better phone

Granted, but you don't have a battery for it and they don't make them anymore

 

I wish for a safe trip tomorrow

Granted, but only went 1 mile away from home.

 

I wish i lived in California

granted but an earthquake completely destroyed the state while you were there

 

I wish I was in Australia

Granted, but there is a canguru uprising and all humans are turned into slaves

 

I wish i could go surfing tomorrow

granted but there were no waves

 

I wish for a vacation in Hawaii

granted but the volcano destroys the islands

 

I wish for more sleep

Granted, you are in coma

 

i wish i had a better job

granted you are fired though

 

I wish I had a job

Granted. You get paid a dollar an hour to mow the sides of steep hills.

 

I wish I had a slurpee machine.

granted but it only gives salt flavored Slurpees

 

I wish I had more time

Granted, you move at lightspeed and you are desintegrated.

 

I wish i could go to Spain in the near future.