Granted... no longer hurting because your legs were amputated above the knees.

I wish I could paint a masterpiece.

Granted, but you work of art was stolen by Da Vinci and is now his

 

I wish I can score a 36 on the ACT

Granted...but everyone else scored a 36 also.

I wish I was younger.

Granted, but you are now in middle school

 

I wish I didn't need glasses 

Granted... but your girlfriend had a eye  class fetish and broke up with you.

I wish I owned the Santa Fe railroad.

Your wish has been granted; you now own santa fe railroad but also inherited a hostile takeover from BNSF

 

I wish I lived the life of a Mandalorian

Granted, you are no longer alive but live on as a fictional character.

I wish I could be immortal.

granted but you spend eternity licking poop out of the butholes of cows 

Grant a non-wish to raise your I.Q. to 50 points, thus making you aware that you grant a wish and make one.

I wish I were endowed with serenity.

granted, your penis becomes named serenity 

 

i wish i never had to make wishes

Granted, all you have to do is not post here.

I wish BrewersAlliance had a penis to name.

granted, your mom gets to name it tho since she uses it the most

 

i wish i did not have to work any more

Granted, your now a bum asking for money at entry ramps at interstate highways.

I wish whose been dead these past ten yeaars would leave Brewer alone,

granted, the dead now haunt you instead

 

i wish this customer would just leave

Not granted. Outside the parameters of wish fulfillment or unfulfillment.

I wish I could control time dilation.

GRANTED BUT THEN YOU FUCK EVERYTHING UP AND CEASE TO EXSIST

 

I WISH I COULD KICK MY CO WORKER IN THE NUTS AND NOT HAVE ANY REPOCUSSIONS 

Granted. Now all your co-workers are female with no nuts to kick.

I wish that I owned Australia.

granted.  you now owna rabid racoon named Australia

 

i wish that my glasses cleaner wasnt empty

granted, it is now full of no

 

I wish brewers would stop spamming

granted.  brewers agrees to stop spamming.  but it turns out he lied

 

i wish there were more topics to spam

Granted, but they are on another forum and you loose access to this one

 

I wish brewers would stop lying

granted, he stops lying to everyone but you

 

i wish my balls didnt itch

granted, you have no balls

 

I wish brewers had balls

granted.  i T-bag you with them

 

 

i wish i could get drunk at work

Granted, you are always drunk brewers

 

I wish I had more coffee creamer for my coffee