Granted. Now they wake the kids up at 4:30

 

I wish I had a box of chocolates

Granted, but they're 2 years old

 

I wish I got a new keyboard

Granted! Have an IBM PCjr:

 http://www.brutman.com/PCjr/images/PCjr_Chiclet_keyboard_small.jpg

 

 I wish for this topic to be forgotten

Granted but 3 new tribute threads pop up in it's place

I wish for snow on my birthday

granted but it snows 600 feet

 

I wish it was sunny at 75 all day tomorrow with no wind, no rain or anything bad weather wise 

Granted, but it's just above freezing for the next week.

 

I wish i had more time to spend on cybernations

Granted, but you lose your job

I wish I was Invincible 

Granted, but you suffer through the deaths of everyone you love first.

 

I wish i had a house cat incapable of violence.

granted.  you are murdered by your violent hamster instead

 

 

i wish my pen didnt run out of ink 

Granted, but it eternally leaks onto important documents

 

I wish for World War 3

granted.  you die in it.  only you

 

I wish for sweet tea

Granted, but it's a half and half with rat poison.

 

I wish for a raspberry iced tea.

granted.  its diet

 

 

i wish i could go home early today

Granted, but you get in a car wreck

I wish I would die a warriors death

granted but i rape your corpse after

 

and i actually want to total out my car so that helps

 

i wish the person cheating in my fantasy football league would admit it

(how does one cheat in that?)

Granted, but he also accuses you of cheating with him, and everyone believes him.

 

I wish that this computer wasnt this slow.

granted, its even slower

 

i wish my water was actually beer

Granted, but its 200 proof and you die

 

I wish I had some cheeseburgers

i can handle 200 proof

 

granted but they are raw, contain e.coli and you die

 

i wish my phone case didnt break

Granted, it only cracks.

 

I wish the deep web hadn't implanted a virus into my old computer

granted, instead it fills your computer with porn

 

I wish it was 90 degrees out

granted, but the sun blows up(im grasping at straws)

 

I wish for colder weather

granted.  its now absolute zero

 

 

i wish i didnt have to work today

Granted, your fired

 

I wish i had a job as a packers water boy

granted.  and then they go on to win the super bowl every year for the rest of time but you dont get a ring

 

 

i wish the wish i just granted comes true