Granted but its non-alcoholic beer and gives you the trots. 

 

I wish I could get paid for seating at home. 

granted.  you get paid after you die

 

 

I wish it was warm

Granted, the sun is now as close as the moon.

 

I wish that factbooks were reinstated in cybernations

Granted, but fact becomes fiction.

 

I wish the Decepticons would have won at least one battle against the Autobots. What a great 80's cartoon that was. 

Granted... but you have to endure Shia LeBouf's acting again.

 

I wish I had the strength of ten men!

granted, they are ten super weak men, and you are now weaker than you used to be\

 

I wish my phone battery never died

Granted. Your phone battery comes to life and takes over the world as an immortal battery person.

 

I wish I could go to Rome.

granted, you can now go to Rome, Indiana

 

I wish i could eat unhealthy and stay in shape 

granted, you can now go to Rome, Indiana

 

Still a holiday for me! I'm an Aussie.

 

Granted, round is a shape.

 

I wish I could turn invisible.

granted, no one ever sees you again and you kill yourself over loneliness

 

i wish the packers didnt suck 

Granted, they stop giving out BJs, but they're still terrible at American Football (?)

 

I wish I had a packet of Tim Tams that never ran out.

granted but SeaBee steals it

 

 

I wish I was drunk

Granted, someone drinks you.

 

I wish I could pole-vault at the olympics.

granted.  you pole vault on an Olympics video game 

 

I wish my new job that I just started today goes well

Granted, but you never get the block from CN lifted so you die slowly

or just take another job

 

I wish to have a job 

Granted, but is very low paid and stressful.

I wish there still was gas to cook at my home

Granted, but you have nothing with which to light it.

I wish I could sing like Rob Thomas.

not sure who that is so granted you sing like a random guy named Rob Thomas, he sucks fyi

 

I wish my bubbler had beer in it

Granted but the bubble is piss suds

 

I wish brewers wishes would run out.

granted but then brewers gets more wishes

 

 

i wish that summer never ended

Granted but now all football players are dropping dead of heat.

 

I wish it was always a good day and nothing and no one could ruin it. good fucking luck

granted.  it is a good day for everyone on earth but you

 

I wish that it was friday

Granted but its just a wish and its really Monday.

 

I wish?

Granted.

 

I wish my children wouldn't wake me up so early.

granted.  they never let you sleep

 

 

I wish it was 85 out