Granted, but you get stuck in a paradox for saying "wish" 2 times and in different forms.

 

I wish for a day off

Granted, you get fired and are given quintuplets to care for.

 

 

I wish it wasn't 42 & rainy.

Granted, it is now 41 and hailing

 

I wish i had perfect memory

Granted but you share the memory with a serial killer

 

Wish I didn’t have to poop

Granted, but your colon explodes.

 

 

 

I wish my husbands cat would leave me alone!

Wish granted it runs away gets pregnant and drops the kittens at your doorstep

 

I wish I had more long sleeve shirts

Granted, but the backs are all ripped off. (BTW the cat is a boy lol)

 

 

 

I wish the 1yr old didn't feel so bad (he got 4 shots)

granted, i dont want to corrupt it >

 

i wish i had the option to go back to school

Granted, but when you decide to, you get bullied 24/5 and have 5-6th graders ask about the size of "the tool" and how to deal with acne and puberty and since you're the oldest and wisest person in the class you always get double homework and your locker is too small to fit your clothes and under your table you always find pieces of gum and you get detention for cheating in PE for being too tall, too fast and too skilled and making little kids cry in a result and you have to learn the same old stuff you learned when you first came to school

 

and you have to quit playing CyberNations because of the amount of homework you obtain

 

 

 

 

Granted, you get fired and are given quintuplets to care for.

 

I wish MsShawdi could accept my age

granted, she accepts your age once you are 90 and dead

 

 

I wish my water was cold

Granted, you freeze from the inside and shatter into a million pieces

 

I wish for a driving license

granted.  you get it but never drive

 

I wish my phone bill was free

Granted, but you can now only make calls to Japan.

 

 

 

 

I wish household chores did themselves..

granted, you do all the chores cause your a woman 

 

i wish you dont get mad at me for making that sexist joke 

Granted, I really didn't, that fb theory stuff actually made me laugh quite a bit so yea.. But now you must slap seabee lol

 

 

 

 

I wish the weather wasn't constantly changing...

Granted, it's cloudy. Forever. Yep. No sun. Nope. No summer, no winter, no nothing.

 

I wish to see Bigfoot

Granted, but he eats you for breakfast.

 

 

 

I wish stupid people didn't exist.

granted.  he eats you

 

I wish I had a billion dollars

Granted, but after taxes you only get a hundred.

 

I wish for a Italian BMT

granted, you get an Italian black midget tranny

 

I wish the packers win monday 

Granted, but it's a long time to wait for 5th October 2029.

you made no wish.  you lose

 

I wish for anything at all lol

Granted but you misjudged your desires and you are left wanting more

I wish The 28th would get here faster

granted. you are stabbed for the 28th time

 

I wish for good weather tomorrow

Granted, it's cloudy with a chance of meatballs.

 

I wish for Clinton to be elected president, if she rolls in 2020.