I wish more people would post in this thread

Granted but it's me

 

I wish the text on the forums would flash

Granted, but now your blinded by them

 

I wish I could deadlift with good form

Granted, but you can only deadlift 10 pounds. 

 

I wish I could shapeshift. 

Granted, but you can only shapeshift into Theodore Bagwell (T-bag from prison break).

 

I wish I had a dog.

granted, but it would run away the next day 

 

I wish i could rap

granted but you die of a drug overdose

 

I wish I wasnt sore

Granted, but you have painful headaches for the rest of your life. 

 

I wish I was the fastest sprinter in the world. 

Granted, but you have painful headaches for the rest of your life. 

 

I wish I was the fastest sprinter in the world. 

Granted, but you're only that fast because of steroids so you cannot win any races or set any records.

 

I wish for a new computer.

granted, but it doesnt turn on

 

 

i wish for a new pen 

granted, but it doesnt turn on

 

 

i wish for a new pen 

Grated but it writes only in blood. Possibly yours, you aren't sure.

 

I wish I had free tacos for life.

granted, but your mouth is permanently glued shut so u cant eat them 

 

I wish i had more posts that Betsy 

granted, but you are banned from the forums afterwards 

 

I wish I had a good pc 

granted but then SBG steals it

 

I wish I was a billionaire  

granted, but you have to invest it all in handerpants

 

I wish I could actually find a good book

Granted but it's only part one of three and the author will never finish the other 2 parts. It also left off on a cliffhanger.

I wish I could learn to fucking aim in video games.

granted but u always die anyways

 

 

i wish i could fly

granted, but you can only go up, not down or sideways. 

 

I wish I could be three inches taller. 

granted but you shirk an inch per hour for the rest of your life after that

 

 

I wish i had season tickets for the packers

Granted, but they moved their home ground to the other end of the world.

 

I wish nobody could corrupt by wish.

granted, but the SBG kills you for unrelated reasons

 

 

I wish i won the lotto last night

granted, but you have to donate every last penny of your money (including the one you'll earn in future).

 

I wish the lotto did not exist

granted, and it causes massive riots and millions of people die

 

 

i wish i didnt have a stomach ache 

granted, but now you have chronic pain everywhere else in your body for rest of your life.

 

i wish there was a way to resolve global warming.

granted, the world ends.  no more global warming

 

 

I wish water got me drunk