granted it starts to rain and all the snow melts and it floods

 

 

I wish there was something to eat at my house

granted! you now have roadkill! a tasty mixture of oil, rain, dirt, and an indistinguishable rodent

 

 

i wish i had some candy

granted but its 40 years old and tastes horrid

 

 

I wish I had some caffeine

Wish granted.. you have coffee beans stuffed up your anus.

 

 

I wish I had cake.. that was not a lie.

granted you get a milk free sugar free super health cake that taste horrible and is really dry

 

I wish I had some mashed potatoes

Your wish is granted: You have a plate of mashed potatoes made from 3 month old moldy potatoes squeezed under a fat man's buttocks.

 

 

I wish for respite from near constant headaches.

granted, in exchange you traded your liver

 

 

I wish this thread never exsisted

granted but a different thread was made with a similar name everyone posted the same thing in

 

 

 

I wish I didn't have work saturday

Granted, you died

 

I wish I found one billion dollars in a suitcase on the street

granted, but someone steals it from you

 

i wish the weather would be better on thursday

granted, Thursday is a beautiful day, every day after is a living hell

 

 

i wish i had a pet wolf

granted but it eats your other pets then runs away

 

I wish my math teacher would actually figure out what was going on

Edited October 27, 200917 yr by phish

Your math teacher figures out what is going on, reports it to the proper authorities and destroys the lives of several students and faculty.

 

I wish to receive a 5 minute session of NSA oral sex from Summer Glau.

granted but... you lose all bladder control in the process

 

i wish that wishes would be true and truth be false

granted but you will be forever confused

 

i wish for a coin

granted but it can only be used in France for at one particular escar got vending machine

 

 

I wish I had the winning mega million Washington state lottery ticket

Granted, but the actual winner had already signed it - so you're going to jail for fraud!

 

I wish I had a boat!

granted, you have a 2 inch long 1 inch wide paper boat

 

 

I wish time travel was possible

granted but you get stuck in the time of aliens probing humans

 

i wish i had a hotdog

Granted, you now own a sweaty doberman.

 

I wish I could fly!

granted but you can no longer walk

 

i wish for more spam

and you get fat off of it

 

i wish for more women!

granted but they all treat you like a little brother

 

i wish for candy

granted but it rots your teeth out and makes you ill

 

 

I wish I had some video games for my game system

granted but you had a seizure

 

i wish i was infinite