Granted, but you were fired and now have no job

 

I wish I didn't have midterms

Granted but now your class consists of one single large 3 day final worth 95% of your grade

 

 

I wish I had something to eat

granted but its a moldy piece of bread

 

I wish I wasn't so tired

Grated but you cant stop talking

 

I wish class wasnt so boring

granted it becomes very interesting while you are in class but you have 5 hours of homework a day

 

I wish I had something to drink

Grated but it is 3 week old coffee

 

I wish i had more money

granted you are given 100,000 dollars and later that day you are arrested for robbing a bank

 

I wish class was over for the day

Granted but you have to stay anyway

 

I wish I had a Desktop computer

granted but it can barely run Win 3.1.1

 

I wish I had money

Granted......here is a penny http://z.about.com/d/studenttravel/1/0/d/B/one-penny-picture.jpg

 

 

I wish i won the lottery

granted, it however was a lottery to see who would be the first to test a new experimental drug that would make you immortal. they however test your immortality be shooting you with a high powered rifle in the heart and it turns out because of a typo in your paper work you were given a sugar pill by mistake and were killed. It was deemed as suicide so you got nothing from any life insurance you may have had and no one is being charged for your murder. I hope you enjoyed winning the lottery

 

I wish I won the Washington state megamillions lottery for at least 85 million within the next year

granted but it's 85mil in civil war money

 

i wish i wasn't so tired lately

Granted, but from now on you will never be able to sleep and will have to deal with full body turrets and hallucinations from the lack of REM sleep. Not to mention that stupid purple troll that follows you everywhere in the shadows.

 

I wish for a pet monkey.

granted, but he spanks you

 

i wish for an AK-47

Granted, but the instant you get it, someone runs up, steals it, and then shoots you.

 

 

I wish to never have a hangover again in my life.

Granted, but only because you never stop drinking and die 3 days later from alcohol poisoning in a small unlit back alley.

granted, your lack of a wish turns you into a nothingness.

 

i wish for a magic buterfly

granted but it eats you

 

i wish for a dog

granted but it has cancer and dies after you get him...

 

 

i wish that war lasted longer

granted but it lasts forever

 

i wish the phone would stop ringing

Granted, but it's because all your friends have died.

 

I wish I had a monkey.

Granted, but that's all you will be able to eat.

 

I wish I had a house.

Granted, but it's in Somalia.

 

I wish I knew how to play guitar.

This should be easy.

 

CALDERONE GOT BEATEN BY NAH's BLUES.

 

I mean, how the hell did the blues win a game?

BLUES WON