granted, but there's no more water left on earth.

 

i wish i could catch up to all the latest tv series.

granted but they all get canceled

 

I wish it was thursday 

granted, but one more day is added to the work week 

 

I wish I would stop procrastinating so much

granted but you never have free time now

 

 

I wish I didnt drink that energy drink

granted, but you have to drink coffee every hour for the rest of your life

 

I wish my laptop would function properly

granted, I steal it and it starts working just fine for me

 

I wish everything was perfect in my life and always will be perfect with nothing bad ever happens to me or anyone else and I live for another 70 years

granted, but you will be in a coma while this all happened. You would be unaware that all of it was just a dream.

 

I wish i didn't have to ever pay for gas

granted, you dont have to pay for gas cause youre dead in my basement

 

I wish people would spam the forums more so I can pass Betsy

Granted, but she betrays IRON because of you.

 

I wish I could have every book my heart desires at no monetary cost.

Granted but you don't know how to read

 

I wish I had pizza

Granted, but instead of pizza sauce it is blood and instead cheese it is shredded skin.

 

I wish for the time to go to the gym everyday.

thats a turn on

 

Granted but you are too weak to lift anything

 

I wish I didnt have to wake up at 5am to lift lol

Granted, but you never wake up again.

 

I wish I had a pitcher of margs.

Granted, but you are to much of a light weight to consume more than one serving

 

I wish I didn't have to go to work at 3am

Granted, because you will never leave work again.

 

I wish I had Sugar Bowl tickets.

 

 

(and just cuz im a light weight dont mean I wont drink past my abilities.)

granted but the game gets canceled

 

I wish i could get drunk at work with zero repercussions 

Granted, but to cause the drinking the Packers will never win another game.

 

I wish I didn't have to work.

Granted, but you will be unemployed for the rest of your life

 

I wish i was more consistent with my spamming

Granted, but you will die sitting at the computer from a mixture of starvation and dehydration.

 

I wish my husband would let me buy the poodle I found.

Granted, but your poodle will constantly relieve him/herself all around your house 

 

I wish i could talk to animals

Granted, but they are all charlie the unicorn style annoying.

 

I wish I had an unlimited Build-A-Bear Budget.

Granted, but build-a-bear closes down in two days.

 

I wish I had more time to game.

Granted but you don't own any games and never will

 

I wish MsShawdi would shoe foot plz finaly

Granted, but the attachment never loads.

 

I wish I could go on vacation.

Granted but it's to North Korea

 

I wish I had chicken tenders