This is a thread I've seen on several alliance forums. The rules are simple. In each reply, you will corrupt the wish of the person above you by granting it, but in a devious manner, and then make a wish of your own. Let's see how creative we can get.

 

Person 1: "I wish I had a million bucks."

 

Person 2: "Granted, but all.the bills are stolen and you're going to prison."

 

To start things off, I wish I had a homemade apple pie right now.

Granted, put now it comes out the other way.

 

I wish Mochi wasn't leaving me tomorrow.

granted, he is leaving u today

 

I wish cirque du soleil tickets were not so fucking expensive 

Granted, but since all your aid slots are full, the tickets arrive too late.

 

I wish for an upgraded PC.

Granted but then someone steals it

 

I wish I wasn't sick

Granted, you are now immune to sickness and bound to work 365 days a year. (yes, including holidays)

 

i wish to for this reply to be the last in this thread

granted, but then people keep replying to this thread anyways cause fuck you thats why

 

 

I wish i could fly

Granted, but you don't meet the FAA regulations and get fined 186,692 dollars and a cent.

 

I wish to talk about politics and gun control without starting a dispute.

granted, but your opinion sucks so you only talk to yourself and eventually lose your mind

 

I wish my gf didnt have class on Thursdays 

Granted she fails out and relies entirely on your support.

 

I wish books weren't so expensive.

Granted, you instead purchase the dictionary and think of every other book that comes after as a badly organized remix.

 

I wish for a concrete block, two pomegranates and a sombrero hat.

granted, but the concrete block is around your feet and you are thrown into a river so u drown and die

 

i wish it was next week monday

Granted, you have jury duty.

 

I wish I didn't have so many headaches.

Granted, only have heartbreaks now

 

I wish i could stop being so sick and go to work for once

granted but then they fire you because you are bad at your job

 

I wish the super bowl didnt suck last night 

Granted, but now the Super Bowl doesn't exist.

I wish we could roll every AA

Granted but then you gt rolled by MK's mom

 

I wish i had a beer right now

Granted, but it is Oklahoma 3% piss water.

 

I wish summer would come already.

granted, a girl named Summer has an orgasm with your bf cause hes cheating on you

 

 

i wish my foot wasnt cramping up right now 

Granted, it has been amputated.

 

I wish groceries just appeared when you need them instead of having to go shopping for them.

granted but the food is contaminated, you get some weird disease and then you die a slow, painful and horrible death

 

i wish I didnt get kicked out of a club saturday night 

Granted, but you got a face and lap dance from a stripper who has a smelly yeast infection. 

 

I wish I had the ability to discreetly detect any lies told to or around me. 

Granted, but you find out any pie from now on is a lie.

 

I wish I would not be nervous for the lecture I'm going to give to hundreds of professionals next week.

granted, but you do a horrid job and people throw things at you

 

I wish i did not have a stomach ache 

Granted, you no longer have a stomach and die a slow painful death.

 

I wish my house wasn't constantly under remodel.

Granted, it’s demolished along with the rest of the earth in order to facilitate an intergalactic highway construction project for a hyperspace express route.

 

I wish I won at the lottery