Granted, you have no money and must bet with the use of your body.

 

I wish I could travel more.

granted, you now can travel from one room of your place to another, but no further

 

I wish I could get drunk tonight 

Granted, it kills you this time.

 

I wish I could enjoy the night by the fire.

Granted, but then you fall in it and slowly and painfully burn to death as your husband watches and laughs

 

I wish it was christmas 

Omg he'd be living the dream!

 

Granted, you get no presents. Not even coal.

 

I wish bears didn't hibernate. 

Granted, but then tomorrow you get eaten by a bear

 

I wish the Bears Still Sucked

Granted, but the Packers suck as well.

 

I wish brewers wouldn't make so easy to corrupt his wishes.

 

 

Granted, but the Packers suck as well.

 

true story, they do suck lol

 

Granted but then I get banned from IRON by samus and you get really sad

 

 

I wish that no children on earth went hungry tonight  

Granted, there are no children on earth.

 

I wish I wasn't hungry now.

granted, instead you cant stop eating and eventually die like the guy in Se7en

 

I wish i didnt have to pay taxes

Granted. The IRS arrest you and you are made someone's prison bitch.

 

I wish water tasted better.

Granted, but it comes in an unopenable bottle.

 

I wish there was a Legend of Zelda movie.

Granted but its worse than the room and troll 2 combined

 

I wish I did not work today

Granted, but your career path will be live Osweiler hired and immediately permanately retired.

 

I wish it wasnt so cold since I'm going to the beach.

granted, but the beach is hit bu a tsunami so you drown and die 

 

I wish my finger wasnt randomly bleeding 

Granted, the flow of blood from your finger stops, but the pressure building up within causes your head to pop.

 

I wish I was rich instead of so darned good looking.

Granted, but you commit suicide after realizing money was not worth the price.

 

I wish walking didn't make my feet hurt.

Granted. It makes your whole body hurts

 

I wish nadarr didn't suck at cybernations

Granted, she never talks to you again.

 

I wish Brewers wasn't such a CUNTWEASLE

Granted he's awesome as fuck

 

I wish it was morning

Granted. But you are in a coma.

 

I wish I never had to talk to brewers again.

Granted. You are forced to text me every day for the rest of your life

 

I wish cheese wasn't nasty

Granted, it has always been delicious.

 

I wish fish tanks weren't so complicated.

Granted, your fish turn to stone and require no maintenance, but they no longer come when you call them.

 

 

I wish my nipples dispensed popcorn butter so when you get to the bottom of the bucket, and the corn is dry, you wouldn’t have to walk back to the consession stand for more.

That is disgusting.....you must wait for brewers to corrupt that.